The Olympians Read the Lightning Thief
by Only When I See us Laugh
Summary: Hey! I discontinued my other story because of all the errors. Same story, better everything. So yeah. the demigods and grover fall into the throne room and read the book. just like the title. REMEMBER: I really need your imput! Please review with your honest opinion!
1. prologue

**I know this theme is over-used. So please forgive me if you have also done something like this. I just think it is a fun concept. I deleted the other story like this, because I had a lot of errors. But i fixed them!**

**Disclaimer: I disclaim this. I do not own it. Nope, nope, nope! Rick Riordan does.**

The gods were in their throne room, on the Winter Solstice, discussing the regular things, who Mother Rhea liked best, previous battles, and such.

"Well, I think Mother liked me best because I am the one she spared, and fed Kronos a rock instead of,"Zeus said.

"Maybe Mother confused you with the rock," grumbled Poseidon. "It's not a hard mistake to make," mumbled a bored sea-god.

Hades nodded, with a trace of a smile on his face, "perhaps," he smirked.

"You dare " Zeus started, but just then six people fell into the throne room along with a box. Five demigods and a satyr. "What the Hades...?"

"Can someone please tell me why everyone chooses to use my name as curse word?" Hades asked.

A boy in front of him sqeaked "Father?" All eyes were on Hades.

"The oath! You disobeyed it?" Zeus bellowed. "I am gonna send you to Tartarus!"

"Father," Athena said calmly. "Perhaps we should let our rather, unexpected guests introduce themselves." Zeus nodded reluctantly. Athena turned to the demigods. "Well? Introduce yourelves!"

A girl with blonde hair and gray eyes hesitantly stepped forward. " I am Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena. Architect to Mount Olympus." Athena's eyes glittered with pride. Annabeth's mind was reeling. _What am I doing here? I was just observing Daedalus's laptop in my cabin! Ooh... look at these columns! They aren't the ones that were on Olympus!_

A girl stepped forward, "I am Clarisse La Rue, daughter of Ares. Drakon slayer."

Clarisse was thinking: _What the heck? I am on Olympus. There is Ares, he looks different. He has less scars!_

A terrified satyr stepped forward. "I-I a-am Grover U-Underwood. Lord of the Wild." _Okay, happy things to make you stay calm Grover! Tin cans, cheese enchiladas, grass. _Then Percy's voice spoke up in his mind: _Um, Grover? I can hear you. What are we doing here?_

"I am Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon." _Okay, Percy, stay absolutely still. Maybe then no one will try to kill you. _Athena's voice echoed in his mind: _Seriously? That is your plan for staying alive? Ugh! Oh, and stay away from my daughter._ Zeus looked just about ready to shoot voltage at a certain sea god's son. But a girl with black hair and electric blue eyes stepped forward.

"Thalia... Grace. Daughter of Zeus, lieutenant of Artemis." Zeus was dumbfounded, and a little embarassed. Here he was, ready to kill Poseidon and Hades for breaking the oath,and he himself broke the promise._Wow. That is my dad. He kinda has a temper. _Zeus spoke in her mind: _Yeah, and he can hear you too, you know._

"You-you live. But y-you were a pine tree! I need an aspirin," Zeus said rubbing his forhead. Thalia just stepped back.

"Nico Di Angelo. Son of Hades, the Ghost King. And, no, my father did not break the oath, I was born _before _World War II. Now, what, exactly, are we doing here?" _I am about to have a stroke. Deep breaths, Nico. Calm down. Shadows, darkness, Stygian Iron, nice things to keep you calm._

Athena spoke, "I believe you are here to read some books with us. At least that is what this says. Here is what it says: '_I have sent these young demigods as well as the satyr to read these books as a way to make the impending war less,ah, gruesome. And Zeus, try not to blast anyone with your masterbolt, remember last time? You still haven't scrubbed the ashes from the sofa! Best wishes, Mother Rhea. _There are five books here: _The Lightning Thief, The Sea of Monsters, The Titan's Curse, The Battle of the Labyrinth, _and _The Last Olympian._We are supposed to read them together. "

Hermes spoke up, "so... who wants to read first?


	2. iaccidentallyvaporizemyprealge brateache...

**A/N: Hey! Chapter 2! How about that? Again, review, review, REVIEW!Oh, and just to be clear,this is after the titan war, but before percy starts dating annabeth. Most of you probably got that, but some of you might not have. For the demigods and Grover this takes place right after the actual book. I will try and do all the installments of the series, as well as the HoO.**

**Disclaimer: I am not a middle-aged genius with two sons in Texas, so I don't think I am Rick Riordan, do you?**

"Ooh! Ooh! Let me! Please? I really want to read!" Aphrodite pleaded. She has a killer puppy-dog face. She winked at both Percy and Annebeth, who blushed under her gaze. Zeus tossed her the book.

"Okay first chapter: _**I Accidentally Blow Up My Pre-Algebra Teacher, " **_She started.

"How, exactly, do you blow up your pre-algebra teacher?" Hermes asked. "Cause I seriously need to get me some of those explosives."

"That's what I'm talking about! Yeah!" Ares mused. " I like this main-character kid!" Percy nearly fell over laughing, so did Grover and Annabeth. "What? Ugh! Just read."

" Okay. Here we go:

**Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood.**

**If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life.**

**Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways."**

"Ha! Got that right!" Thalia, Nico, Annabeth, and Percy said in unison.

"Yes, that is right, now may I continue?" Aphrodite asked in annoyance. The demigods nodded. "Okay! Next:

**If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.**

**But if you recognize yourself in these pages-if you feel something stirring inside-stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you.**

**Don't say I didn't warn you.**

**My name is Percy Jackson." **

Clarisse snorted, "Why thank you Captain Obvious."

Percy smirked, "You're very welcome Sergent Sarcastic. Besides, these people didn't know who I was. This is in... what? I still see antennas on their phones so around... 2003, maybe?

"May I continue? Thankyou! Okay:

**I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.**

**Am I a troubled kid?**

**Yeah. You could say that.**

**I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip toManhattan- twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.**

"Sounds like torture, " Poseidon said.

"Hey! _We_ are Greek. And that sounds like paradise!"

**I know-it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were.**

"Ah, like father, like son," Hera mused.

**But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leadingthis trip, so I had hopes.**

**Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.**

**I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.**

**Boy, was I wrong.**

"Ooh! Ooh! How was he wrong?" Ares was sitting forward in his chair, ready for more imformation.

**See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway.**

"Aha! Nice one dude!" Apollo said.

Percy blushed a dark shade of red as the throne room laughed.

"A school bus,Seaweed Brain? Really?" Annabeth said between fits of laughter.

"Wow! I wish I had seen that!" Thalia muttered

Nico just shook his head and mumbled, "Oh, wow, Percy. Why couldn't you pick me up from that Military school a few years earier?"

**And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplannedswim. And the time before that… Well, you get the idea.**

**This trip, I was determined to be good.**

**All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.**

**"**Eww! Gross! That, my dear friends, is why we Olympians eat Ambrosia and Nectar." Aphrodite said.

**Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.**

"Thankyou, Percy, for that flattering description of me, a Lord of the Wild, " Grover said as all the demigods cracked up.

**Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death by in-schoolsuspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.**

**"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.**

"DO IT! Please! I am dying here, well not literally since I'm immortal, but I need action!" Ares bellowed.

"Don't worry, I almost die about twenty times in this book; maybe more," Percy replied.

"Oh yeah! The peanut butter bully. It was okay;I like peanut butter," said Grover.

**Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."**

"Satyrs don't change much do they? Well, that is why I love them. They just don't change, " Dionysus mused.

He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.

"**That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.**

"**You're already on probation," he reminded me."You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."**

**Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.**

**Mr. Brunner led the museum tour.**

**He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.**

**It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.**

**He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye.**

"Ah, Alecto. I see she is up to her tricks again; well, I suppose she had a good reason to. After all, I control the Furies," Hades said evilly.

Grover gulped loudly, "Kindly Ones; please don't say Furies."

"You just did, Mr. Underwood, " said Artemis.

"May I go on please? Thanks. I need some romance, I mean come on!"

**Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.**

**From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.**

**One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said,"You're absolutely right."**

"Sheesh! Mysterious much, G-Man?" asked Thalia.

**Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.**

**Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele,**

"OMS! The nerve!"

"OMS? What does that means?" asked Nico.

"Oh-My-Self! Duh!" Said a very agitated Aphrodite.

**and I turned around and said,"Will you shut up?"**

**It came out louder than I meant it to.**

**The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story.**

"**Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"**

**My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir."**

**Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"**

**I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"**

"Oh no! Please don't talk about; it is too teriffying!" Hera said.

"**Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because …"**

"**Well…" I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and-"**

The entire throne room gasped. "Perseus! How-" Athena was cut off.

Annabeth said "Seaweed Brain! I swear, sometimes I really believe your head is full of kelp!" Percy blushed as she scolded.

"Just keep reading! I correct myself; sheesh! I wasn't great at Greek history stuff you know!"

"**God?" Mr. Brunner asked.**

"**Titan," I corrected myself. "And … he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters-"**

"**Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me.**

"**-and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."**

**Some snickers from the group.**

**Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend,"Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"**

"**And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"**

"Busted!" Apollo said.

"**Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.**

**At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.**

**I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."**

"**I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed."Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"**

**The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses.**

**Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson."**

**I knew that was coming.**

**I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?"**

**Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go- intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.**

"**You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me.**

"**About the Titans?"**

"**About real life. And how your studies apply to it."**

"**Oh."**

"**What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."**

**I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.**

**I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted:"What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped. But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life. No-he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.**

"Yeah; it is difficult. And the most terrible thing is... I love reading! But it is soooo hard!" Annabeth said. Athena's eyes glittered in pride.

**I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.**

**He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.**

**The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.**

**Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.**

Everyone looked at Poseidon. "What? I am sure there was a perfectly logical reason for my behavior!" He bellowed.

**Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.**

**Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school-the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.**

"**Detention?" Grover asked.**

"**Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean-I'm not a genius."**

**Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"**

The entire throne room burst into laughter as a certain Lord of the Wild blushed, well, wildly. "I was young and hungry! Don't blame me!"

**I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.**

**I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.**

"Now that is the relationship a son should have with his mother," said an angry Hera as she glared at Ares.

**I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends-I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists-and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.**

"**Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.**

**I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.**

**I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"**

**Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.**

**Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-"**

"**-the water-"**

"**-like it grabbed her-"**

**I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.**

"Oh please, Percy," Annabeth said as she rolled her eyes. "When are you _not_ in trouble?"

Percy smiled sheepishly, "That, Wise Girl, is an excellent point."

Aphrodite sqealed and dropped the book. "AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"WHAT? What happened?" asked Hephaestus.

"Oh, nothing," Aphrodite said as she picked up the book as if it were gold. "It's just that, oh, never mind. I cannot meddle, not yet anyway." Percy and Annabeth had a pretty good idea of what she was talking about.

**As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey-"**

"**I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."**

**That wasn't the right thing to say.**

"**Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.**

"**Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her."**

**I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death.**

**She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.**

"**I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.**

"**But-"**

"**You-will-stay-here."**

**Grover looked at me desperately.**

"**It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."**

"**Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "Now."**

**Nancy Bobofit smirked.**

**I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare.**

"I bet it is nothing like mine," said Nico as he smirked.

**Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.**

**How'd she get there so fast?**

**I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.**

**I wasn't so sure.**

**I went after Mrs. Dodds.**

**Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel.**

**I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.**

**Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.**

**But apparently that wasn't the plan.**

**I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.**

**Except for us, the gallery was empty.**

**Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.**

**Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it…**

"**You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.**

**I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."**

**She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket."Did you really think you would get away with it?"**

**The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.**

"Ha! Tell me about it." Thalia said.

**She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.**

**I said, "I'll-I'll try harder, ma'am."**

**Thunder shook the building.**

"**We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."**

**I didn't know what she was talking about.**

**All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.**

"Percy, I commend you on the candy thing, but I really loved the book." Annabeth said.

_AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! She said 'Percy' and 'love' in one sentence!_Aphrodite thought to herself.

"**Well?" she demanded.**

"**Ma'am, I don't…"**

"**Your time is up," she hissed.**

**Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.**

**Then things got even stranger.**

**Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.**

"**What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.**

**Mrs. Dodds lunged at me.**

**With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword-Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.**

**Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.**

**My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.**

**She snarled, "Die, honey!"**

**And she flew straight at me.**

**Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.**

"Alright! Finally some action!" Ares shouted.

**The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss!**

**Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.**

**I was alone.**

**There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.**

**Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.**

**My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.**

**Had I imagined the whole thing?**

**I went back outside.**

**It had started to rain.**

**Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."**

"Kerr? Who the Hades is Mrs. Kerr?"

**I said, "Who?"**

"**Our teacher. Duh!"**

**I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.**

**She just rolled her eyes and turned away.**

**I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.**

**He said, "Who?"**

**But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.**

"**Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."**

**Thunder boomed overhead.**

**I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.**

**I went over to him.**

**He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."**

**I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.**

"**Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"**

**He stared at me blankly. "Who?"**

"**The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."**

**He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"**

"Alrighty, always take lying lessons from a horse, never a goat. The chapter is over! Who wants to read next?" Aphrodite asked.


	3. threeoldladiesknitthesocksofde ath

**A/N: Alright! Chapter 3! Doin' okay so far! Remember: PLEASE REVIEW! I love hearing your guess's opinions! Correct my grammar and spelling, and any other mistakes I make! Always open to suggestions, if you do, I will do my best to include them in the story!**

**Disclaimer: I disclaim it. I will own this when a pigs fly (with acception to the Clazmonian Sow from the Last Olympian).**

"May I please read next?" Annabeth asked. "I would like to read about what other mistakes Kelp-Head made."

"Yes, fine." Zeus said nonchalantly. "I will translate it to Greek so you won't have a problem reading it." He said and tossed her the book.

"Thankyou. **Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death."**

"How the Hades?"

"Seriously, stop using my name!" Hades bellowed

"Well, if we say 'what the Zeus' he will blast us to rubble!"

"Got that right!"

"May I begin reading? Thankyou!

**I was used to the occasional weird experience, but usually they were over quickly. This twenty-four/seven hallucination was more than I could handle. For the rest of the school year, the entire campus seemed to be playing some kind of trick on me. The students acted as if they were completely and totally convinced that Mrs. Kerr-a perky blond woman whom I'd never seen in my life until she got on our bus at the end of the field trip-had been our pre-algebra teacher since Christmas.**

**Every so often I would spring a Mrs. Dodds reference on somebody, just to see if I could trip them up, but they would stare at me like I was psycho.**

**It got so I almost believed them-Mrs. Dodds had never existed.**

**Almost.**

**But Grover couldn't fool me. When I mentioned the name Dodds to him, he would hesitate, then claim she didn't exist. But I knew he was lying.**

"Like I said, never take lying lessons from a goat!"

**Something was going on. Something had happened at the museum.**

"No dip, Sherlock!" Thalia said.

"Hey! It was a valid, clarifying sentence!" Percy protested.

**I didn't have much time to think about it during the days, but at night, visions of Mrs. Dodds with talons and leathery wings would wake me up in a cold sweat.**

**The freak weather continued, which didn't help my mood. One night, a thunderstorm blew out the windows in my dorm room. A few days later, the biggest tornado ever spotted in the Hudson Valley touched down only fifty miles from Yancy Academy. One of the current events we studied in social studies class was the unusual number of small planes that had gone down in sudden squalls in the Atlantic that year.**

Everyone looked toward Zeus. He just shrugged nonchalantly, "I was angered. Anyone who angers me shall feel my wrath!"

"You know, I kinda like the word 'wrath'. I don't know why though," Ares said.

**I started feeling cranky and irritable most of the time. My grades slipped from Ds to Fs. I got into more fights with Nancy Bobofit and her friends. I was sent out into the hallway in almost every class.**

**Finally, when our English teacher, Mr. Nicoll, asked me for the millionth time why I was too lazy to study for spelling tests, I snapped. I called him an old sot. I wasn't even sure what it meant, but it sounded good.**

"Ha! That is a good one! I remember using that one on ole' Apollo!" Ares said.

"You did not!"

"Did too!"

Ares threw the first punch, then Apollo, and so on.

"All right, you two! Hug it out!" Hera said with a very angry expression on her face.

They grumbled but Ares put a finger on Apollo's shoulder, and Apollo put a finger on Ares's shoulder. "There, we hugged!" Apollo said.

**The headmaster sent my mom a letter the following week, making it official: I would not be invited back next year to Yancy Academy.**

**Fine, I told myself. Just fine.**

**I was homesick.**

**I wanted to be with my mom in our little apartment on the Upper East Side, even if I had to go to public school and put up with my obnoxious stepfather and his stupid poker parties.**

**And yet… there were things I'd miss at Yancy. The view of the woods out my dorm window, the Hudson River in the distance, the smell of pine trees. I'd miss Grover, who'd been a good friend, even if he was a little strange. I worried how he'd survive next year without me.**

**I'd miss Latin class, too-Mr. Brunner's crazy tournament days and his faith that I could do well.**

**As exam week got closer, Latin was the only test I studied for. I hadn't forgotten what Mr. Brunner had told me about this subject being life-and-death for me. I wasn't sure why, but I'd started to believe him.**

"No comment whatsoever, any of you!"

**The evening before my final, I got so frustrated I threw the Cambridge Guide to Greek Mythology across my dorm room. Words had started swimming off the page, circling my head, the letters doing one-eighties as if they were riding skateboards. There was no way I was going to remember the difference between Chiron and Charon, or Polydictes and Polydeuces. And conjugating those Latin verbs? Forget it.**

**I paced the room, feeling like ants were crawling around inside my shirt.**

**I remembered Mr. Brunner's serious expression, his thousand-year-old eyes. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson.**

**I took a deep breath. I picked up the mythology book.**

"Well, at least he is making an effort to learn! Knowledge is power, you know," Athena said, Annabeth agreed.

"Well, yes. But strength is what rules! That is why lions are kings of the jungle," Ares said. Clarisse nodded in agreement.

"Love is a powerful thing, you know!" Aphrodite stated.

"Yeah, it started the Trojan War! It got millions of people dead! Definitely powerful!"

"It drove some of the best heroes-" the love goddess began.

"To madness?!"

"To greatness! Shut-"

"Wheat conquers all!" Demeter shouted over all the commotion. _(trying out some vocab words I never use)_

The throne room burst out in laughter.

"Some day, you all shall feel the wrath of Demeter! Just read, Annabeth."

**I remembered Mr. Brunner's serious expression, his thousand-year-old eyes. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson.**

**I took a deep breath. I picked up the mythology book.**

**I'd never asked a teacher for help before. Maybe if I talked to Mr. Brunner, he could give me some pointers. At least I could apologize for the big fat F I was about to score on his exam. I didn't want to leave Yancy Academy with him thinking I hadn't tried.**

**I walked downstairs to the faculty offices. Most of them were dark and empty, but Mr. Brunner's door was ajar, light from his window stretching across the hallway floor.**

**I was three steps from the door handle when I heard voices inside the office. Mr. Brunner asked a question. A voice that was definitely Grover's said "… worried about Percy, sir."**

**I froze.**

**I'm not usually an eavesdropper, but I dare you to try not listening if you hear your best friend talking about you to an adult.**

**I inched closer.**

"… **alone this summer," Grover was saying. "I mean, a Kindly One in the school! Now that we know for sure, and they know too-"**

"**We would only make matters worse by rushing him," Mr. Brunner said. "We need the boy to mature more."**

"**But he may not have time. The summer solstice deadline- "**

"**Will have to be resolved without him, Grover. Let him enjoy his ignorance while he still can."**

"**Sir, he saw her… ."**

"**His imagination," Mr. Brunner insisted. "The Mist over the students and staff will be enough to convince him of that."**

"**Sir, I … I can't fail in my duties again." Grover's voice was choked with emotion. "You know what that would mean."**

Thalia grimaced in remembrance. "Pine needles are impossible to get out of your hair." She muttered.

Grover almost started bawling, but Dionysus threw a tin can at him.

"OW! What the Hawaii was that for?!"

"Thankyou for not using my name Mr. Underwood," Hades muttered.

"Don't mention it. Mr.D, all do respect, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

Dionysus just shrugged, "you were about to start sobbing hysterically. I thought one of your favorite foods might cheer you up."

"**You haven't failed, Grover," Mr. Brunner said kindly. "I should have seen her for what she was. Now let's just worry about keeping Percy alive until next fall-"**

**The mythology book dropped out of my hand and hit the floor with a thud.**

**Mr. Brunner went silent.**

**My heart hammering, I picked up the book and backed down the hall.**

**A shadow slid across the lighted glass of Brunner's office door, the shadow of something much taller than my wheelchair-bound teacher, holding something that looked suspiciously like an archer's bow.**

**I opened the nearest door and slipped inside.**

**A few seconds later I heard a slow clop-clop-clop, like muffled wood blocks, then a sound like an animal snuffling right outside my door. A large, dark shape paused in front of the glass, then moved on.**

**A bead of sweat trickled down my neck.**

**Somewhere in the hallway, Mr. Brunner spoke. "Nothing," he murmured. "My nerves haven't been right since the winter solstice."**

"**Mine neither," Grover said. "But I could have sworn …"**

"**Go back to the dorm," Mr. Brunner told him. "You've got a long day of exams tomorrow."**

"**Don't remind me."**

"Wait, hold the phone!" Everyone turned toward Nico. "I do not understand, what happened? Why is he so upset? And if he is undercover, why does he still have to take exams?"

"That's what I said! I mean, I shouldn't have had to take the exams!" Grover whined.

"If I keep reading, you will find out why he was so upset Death Boy!" Annabeth scolded.

**The lights went out in Mr. Brunner's office.**

**I waited in the dark for what seemed like forever.**

**Finally, I slipped out into the hallway and made my way back up to the dorm.**

**Grover was lying on his bed, studying his Latin exam notes like he'd been there all night.**

"**Hey," he said, bleary-eyed. "You going to be ready for this test?"**

**I didn't answer.**

"**You look awful."**

"That was just the thing I needed, Grover, a commetary on the way I looked!"

Grover looked aroung sheepishly, or is it goatishly? "Keep reading!"

**He frowned. "Is everything okay?"**

"**Just… tired."**

**I turned so he couldn't read my expression, and started getting ready for bed.**

**I didn't understand what I'd heard downstairs. I wanted to believe I'd imagined the whole thing.**

**But one thing was clear: Grover and Mr. Brunner were talking about me behind my back. They thought I was in some kind of danger.**

**The next afternoon, as I was leaving the three-hour Latin exam, my eyes swimming with all the Greek and Roman names I'd misspelled, Mr. Brunner called me back inside.**

**For a moment, I was worried he'd found out about my eavesdropping the night before, but that didn't seem to be the problem.**

"**Percy," he said. "Don't be discouraged about leaving Yancy. It's … it's for the best."**

**His tone was kind, but the words still embarrassed me. Even though he was speaking quietly, the other kids finishing the test could hear. Nancy Bobofit smirked at me and made sarcastic little kissing motions with her lips.**

"That little b-"

"Language, Artemis! C'mon little sis! there are little kids here!"Apollo said.

"Little?" Clarisse said. "We are like, sixteen, and we saved the world."

"I _was _going to say brat! And we are twins! Born at the same time! No one is older! Even if there was an older twin, it would be me!"

"I am just gonna keep reading," Annabeth stated.

**I mumbled, "Okay, sir."**

"**I mean …" Mr. Brunner wheeled his chair back and forth, like he wasn't sure what to say. "This isn't the right place for you. It was only a matter of time."**

**My eyes stung.**

**Here was my favorite teacher, in front of the class, telling me I couldn't handle it. After saying he believed in me all year, now he was telling me I was destined to get kicked out.**

"**Right," I said, trembling.**

"**No, no," Mr. Brunner said. "Oh, confound it all. What I'm trying to say … you're not normal, Percy. That's nothing to be-"**

"**Thanks," I blurted. "Thanks a lot, sir, for reminding me.**

"**Percy-"**

**But I was already gone.**

"Perce. He made it sound terrible! But you cut him off," Annabeth turned to Percy.

"I know! I was upset. How would you feel if I said to you, you can't handle it."

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" Ares and Apollo said.

"I think some of us are getting awful rowdy," the queen of the gods said. "How about a break after this chapter? Hmm?"

"YES! I am sooooo hungry!" Hermes yelled.

"Men are always hungry," Artemis said as she rolled her eyes.

"How about some cereal?" Demeter said.

"You know the word 'cereal' comes from Demeter's Roman counterpart 'Ceres'." Athena decided to mention.

Everyone groaned. "Demeter, no more cereal! And Athena, no more trivia," Ares said.

"You know, Trivia is also the name of the Roman counterpart of Hecate. Just decided to throw that in there. Just for you guys who don't want knowledge." Annabeth smirked.

**On the last day of the term, I shoved my clothes into my suitcase.**

**The other guys were joking around, talking about their vacation plans. One of them was going on a hiking trip to Switzerland. Another was cruising the Caribbean for a month. They were juvenile delinquents, like me, but they were rich juvenile delinquents. Their daddies were executives, or ambassadors, or celebrities. I was a nobody, from a family of nobodies.**

**They asked me what I'd be doing this summer and I told them I was going back to the city.**

**What I didn't tell them was that I'd have to get a summer job walking dogs or selling magazine subscriptions, and spend my free time worrying about where I'd go to school in the fall.**

"**Oh," one of the guys said. "That's cool."**

**They went back to their conversation as if I'd never existed.**

**The only person I dreaded saying good-bye to was Grover, but as it turned out, I didn't have to. He'd booked a ticket to Manhattan on the same Greyhound as I had, so there we were, together again, heading into the city.**

**During the whole bus ride, Grover kept glancing nervously down the aisle, watching the other passengers. It occurred to me that he'd always acted nervous and fidgety when we left Yancy, as if he expected something bad to happen. Before, I'd always assumed he was worried about getting teased. But there was nobody to tease him on the Greyhound.**

**Finally I couldn't stand it anymore.**

**I said, "Looking for Kindly Ones?"**

Grover was now chewing his wooden chair.

"Grover. Grover! Grover? Earth to Grover, come in Grover!" Percy said waving his hand in front of Grover's face

"Grover to Earth, Grover is in, come in Earth. Houston, we have a problem."

" Guys! Shut up! I want to know what happens next!"

**Grover nearly jumped out of his seat. "Wha-what do you mean?"**

**I confessed about eavesdropping on him and Mr. Brunner the night before the exam.**

**Grover's eye twitched. "How much did you hear?"**

"**Oh … not much. What's the summer solstice dead-line?"**

**He winced. "Look, Percy … I was just worried for you, see? I mean, hallucinating about demon math teachers …"**

"**Grover-"**

"**And I was telling Mr. Brunner that maybe you were overstressed or something, because there was no such person as Mrs. Dodds, and …"**

"**Grover, you're a really, really bad liar."**

**His ears turned pink.**

**From his shirt pocket, he fished out a grubby business card. "Just take this, okay? In case you need me this summer.**

**The card was in fancy script, which was murder on my dyslexic eyes, but I finally made out something like:**

_**Grover Underwood**_

_**Keeper**_

_**Half-Blood Hill**_

_**Long Island, New York**_

_**(800) 009-0009**_

"**What's Half-"**

"**Don't say it aloud!" he yelped. "That's my, um … summer address."**

**My heart sank. Grover had a summer home. I'd never considered that his family might be as rich as the others at Yancy.**

"Well, I don't know if America accepts drachmas. Even if they did. I still wouldn't be rich!"

"**Okay," I said glumly. "So, like, if I want to come visit your mansion."**

**He nodded. "Or … or if you need me."**

"**Why would I need you?"**

"Percy! How could you?" Annabeth and Thalia said in unison.

Hephaestus huffed, "I may not be good with people, but that was _not _the right thing to say, lad!"

**It came out harsher than I meant it to.**

**Grover blushed right down to his Adam's apple. "Look, Percy, the truth is, I-I kind of have to protect you."**

**I stared at him.**

**All year long, I'd gotten in fights, keeping bullies away from him. I'd lost sleep worrying that he'd get beaten up next year without me. And here he was acting like he was the one who defended me.**

"**Grover," I said, "what exactly are you protecting me from?"**

**There was a huge grinding noise under our feet. Black smoke poured from the dashboard and the whole bus filled with a smell like rotten eggs. The driver cursed and limped the Greyhound over to the side of the highway.**

**After a few minutes clanking around in the engine compartment, the driver announced that we'd all have to get off. Grover and I filed outside with everybody else.**

**We were on a stretch of country road-no place you'd notice if you didn't break down there. On our side of the highway was nothing but maple trees and litter from passing cars. On the other side, across four lanes of asphalt shimmering with afternoon heat, was an old-fashioned fruit stand.**

**The stuff on sale looked really good: heaping boxes of bloodred cherries and apples, walnuts and apricots, jugs of cider in a claw-foot tub full of ice.**

"Ah, that sounds divine."

"Now I am getting hungry!"

"We need to wait! I am almost to the end of the chapter! Don't worry."

**There were no customers, just three old ladies sitting in rocking chairs in the shade of a maple tree, knitting the biggest pair of socks I'd ever seen.**

**I mean these socks were the size of sweaters, but they were clearly socks. The lady on the right knitted one of them. The lady on the left knitted the other. The lady in the middle held an enormous basket of electric-blue yarn.**

**All three women looked ancient, with pale faces wrinkled like fruit leather, silver hair tied back in white bandannas, bony arms sticking out of bleached cotton dresses.**

**The weirdest thing was, they seemed to be looking right at me.**

**I looked over at Grover to say something about this and saw that the blood had drained from his face. His nose was twitching.**

"**Grover?" I said. "Hey, man-"**

"**Tell me they're not looking at you. They are, aren't they?"**

"**Yeah. Weird, huh? You think those socks would fit me?"**

"**Not funny, Percy. Not funny at all."**

Thalia chuckled, "Ha! It is kinda funny!"

Even Nico suppressed a smile, "maybe a little."

"That is Percy, cracking a joke at the worst possible time!"

**The old lady in the middle took out a huge pair of scissors-gold and silver, long-bladed, like shears. I heard Grover catch his breath.**

"**We're getting on the bus," he told me. "Come on."**

"**What?" I said. "It's a thousand degrees in there."**

"**Come on!'" He pried open the door and climbed inside, but I stayed back.**

**Across the road, the old ladies were still watching me. The middle one cut the yarn, and I swear I could hear that snip across four lanes of traffic. Her two friends balled up the electric-blue socks, leaving me wondering who they could possibly be for-Sasquatch or Godzilla.**

**At the rear of the bus, the driver wrenched a big chunk of smoking metal out of the engine compartment. The bus shuddered, and the engine roared back to life.**

**The passengers cheered.**

"**Darn right!" yelled the driver. He slapped the bus with his hat. "Everybody back on board!"**

**Once we got going, I started feeling feverish, as if I'd caught the flu.**

**Grover didn't look much better. He was shivering and his teeth were chattering.**

"Sheesh Grover, you weren't the one who was gonna die!"

"I wonder who the socks could be for... let's take a vote!" Hermes said.

"Let's not," Athena suggested.

"Sasquatch!" Several hands shot up, about eight.

"Godzilla!" only one hand shot up this time. "And Sasquatch wins!" (only the dudes voted)

Artemis just rolled her eyes, "boys."

"**Grover?"**

"**Yeah?"**

"**What are you not telling me?"**

**He dabbed his forehead with his shirt sleeve. "Percy, what did you see back at the fruit stand?"**

"**You mean the old ladies? What is it about them, man? They're not like … Mrs. Dodds, are they?"**

**His expression was hard to read, but I got the feeling that the fruit-stand ladies were something much, much worse than Mrs. Dodds. He said, "Just tell me what you saw."**

"**The middle one took out her scissors, and she cut the yarn."**

**He closed his eyes and made a gesture with his fingers that might've been crossing himself, but it wasn't. It was something else, something almost-older.**

**He said, "You saw her snip the cord."**

"**Yeah. So?" But even as I said it, I knew it was a big deal.**

"**This is not happening," Grover mumbled. He started chewing at his thumb. "I don't want this to be like the last time."**

"**What last time?"**

"**Always sixth grade. They never get past sixth."**

"**Grover," I said, because he was really starting to scare me. "What are you talking about?"**

"**Let me walk you home from the bus station. Promise me."**

**This seemed like a strange request to me, but I promised he could.**

"**Is this like a superstition or something?" I asked.**

**No answer.**

"**Grover-that snipping of the yarn. Does that mean somebody is going to die?"**

**He looked at me mournfully, like he was already picking the kind of flowers I'd like best on my coffin.**

"I was not!"

"Oh, you _so _were!"

"I think white gardenias would look lovely," Demeter mentioned. Most people started laughing.

"Yes, and a solid cherrywood coffin with tridents engraved on the side. Perfect!" Hades added as the throne room laughed their heads off.

"OKAY! Okay! The chapter is over. Break time!" Annabeth said, saving a few of the gods from hyperventilation.

**A/N: I don't know exactly if I like this chapter very much. I was listening to music most of the time, so I was kinda distracted. Review! Tell me your opinion! I won't keep updating as fast unless more of you review! Everytime one of you reads this and doesn't review, a fairy gets diagnosed with amnesia. I need a suggestion for breaktime! Beach? Video games? Tv? movies? long in depth conversation about shoelaces? I don't know! Help me!**


	4. Beach Break

**A/N: Hey! You guys haven't really been reviewing, if you like the story:review! If you LOVE the story: review! If you absolutely hate the story with every fiber in your being... : FREAKIN" REVIEW! If you want me to keep updating, I need inspiration! Motivation! Perspiration! Okay, maybe not that last one... JUST REVIEW! I cannot stress that enough! I guess a lot of you don't like fairies... because you just gave about thirty amnesia.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this. I am an amateur (I bet some of you are like: OH! That is why!)writer. Not a professional one with several written books and the initials R.R.**

"So... whaddya guys wanna do?" Asked Clarisse.

"How about a long lecture about how many males are idiots?" Grumbled Artemis. Thalia shrugged in agreement.

"We can watch adventure-romance movies from the 1930s?" Aphrodite said.

"Huh. No. Neither. How about a long, nice horror movie?" Nico suggested.

"What? No. How about a day at the beach? That sounds awesome..." Percy added. Poseidon nodded in agreement.

"I agree with Percy. It would be nice to get out and do something normal for once." Annabeth said.

"Oh the irony! Some people who weren't, aren't, and never will be normal are suggesting something normal. I think it is kind of funny." Dionysus said.

"So beach? Okay. We don't have any beach equipment, no transportation, and no idea which beach. Perfect!" Said Grover.

"Oh, I will handle transportation," Zeus mentioned.

"I will handle the beach gear," Aphrodite said with a wink. Everyone shivered. "And I am sure that Hermes can handle the beach she said as she stomped on his foot.

"Ouch! That wasn't necessary, Beauty Queen!" She scowled at that name. "I think Malibu beach in Los Angeles would work. Martha? George? Make a call to make sure it isn't too crowded."

_Yes master, _Martha said.

_Do we get a rat if we do? _George asked innocently.

_Shut up, _Martha hissed.

"To the beach. Okay, let's see... a white Guess one piece swim suit for me. Let's see for Annabeth..."

"Gray shorts and one piece with a black rash guard. I won't except anything else. If you refuse I am going in with my jeans and my Camp Half-Blood tee shirt."

"Fine! Whatever. Let's see green... yes that would look fine... red?... no too dark... black? Yes it will suit him fine..." Aphrodite went on like that for a while, mumbling under her breath and stealing glances as people around the room.

_Oh no! I am staying here, where I don't have to go somewhere public, swimming in whatever Aphrodite decides to put me in. I am staying in the sand on a black towel chanting curses to whoever decided to give me the luck I have, _Nico thought to himself as a certain love goddess eavesdropped.

_You will take what I give you and like it, _Aphrodite spoke in his mind.

_Aw, Styx!_

"Okay Zeus, I think we are ready!"

"Yeah, do that _ZAP! _thing and air travel us there! I am _so _excited to go," Clarisse said perkily. Everyone was surprised at her attitude change. I guess they didn't get the sarcasm. "Not!" Now, that made more sense.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O

And so Zeus 'zapped' them there. It was weird, everyone was dressed in what they had wanted to wear, the gods, the demigods, Grover still had to wear jeans though. If the silly mortal peoples saw him their sanity would crumble. We wouldn't want that.

Aphrodite squealed. "You people look adorable! Okay, now I am gonna go and... mingle."

"Swimming? Who's with me?" Percy asked. A few hands went up, including Thalia's, Annabeth's, Grover's and a few of the gods. Some of the Olympians turned to Poseidon.

"What? I won't drown any of you!" Poseidon told them.

"We need your word!"

"Fine! Fine, I swear on the River Styx and everything holy that I will not to try to drown a single mortal, nor immortal. There. Now, I am going to go deep-sea fishing, anyone care to join me? No? Excellent!"

Satisfied, the group of immortals dispersed to their separate ways. Ares had already picked a fight with a fellow biker. Dionysus had heard about a vineyard a little ways north and had promised to be back in a bit. Percy, Annabeth, Thalia, Grover, and several of the gods had laid down their stuff and were heading toward the waves. Apollo was on a surfboard in the middle of the water flirting, Artemis was catching up on hunting sea monsters, and mortals as usual were at the beach, not really swimming, but just tanning and being their usual weird selves.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O

"Hello, excuse me? Helloooo? Anyone home? EARTH TO STRANGER WHO LITTERS?! ¡Petimetre! Recoge tu basura!" A girl was yelling at a certain death boy with ear plugs in, comlimentary of Apollo: technology that doesn't hurt demigods, so of course he wasn't hearing a thing. She pulled the plugs out of his ear.

"Hey! Pick up your freakin trash wrappers!" She yelled at him. At first he was startled, but then he got angry. He had thrown his wrappers in the sand, he guessed she had noticed. She was Hispanic with brown hair with bright red streaks. She was dressed entirely in black -black jeans, black hoodie, black shirt with white writing on it _STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of someone who despirately deserves it. _

"Sorry! I am sorry I forgot to throw my one tiny snickers wrapper in the trash can fifty feet away!"

"Sorry? Sorry doesn't cut it! And lazy much? Do you want to live to see tomorrow? Throw your wrapper away!" He realized she was probably one of those mortals who wanted to clean up the environment, so she had a trashbag with her. He reached to put throw the wrapper away.

She pulled it away, "Oh no," she began. "You are gonna walk that fifty feet to the trashcan to throw away your litter." She had her hands on her hips and she looked determined and very, very angry. _Mortals are so stubborn! _

He didn't know why but he said, "Fine." So, he walked the entire way there, threw the wrapper away, and walked all the way back."

She smirked, "Thankyou. Seriously, though, if you litter again, I _am_ running you threw with my blade. Bye! Have a nice day," she said perkily as she walked away stopping here and there to pick up trash. He noticed a gold knife strapped to her belt.

_Hmm... She is either a demigod, or just likes to play with sharp things. Maybe both. _Nico thought.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O

"Ready to go?" Zeus asked the rest.

"No! I don't wanna go," Percy and Poseidon whined in unison.

"We have to go eventually! We can't stay here forever! Besides we have to eat something," Athena said.

"We already ate. Just grab a bagel or something so we can read the book."

"Fine."

**Hey guys. I am not proud of this chapter. I bet most of you don't like it. I am really bad at this... Remember, reviews do not annoy me, the help me! **


	5. groverunexpectedlyloseshispant s

**A/N: Hey guys! Hey, WizChickSwimmer. Everytime you don't update a mermaid gets diagnosed with... gingivitis. A fairy gets diagnosed with amnesia. A unicorn gets sleep insomnia. Please, guys! If you are gonna follow or favorite, review! I have been getting slower... School started. NOT excited. If I was invisisble things would be easier... Might have to look into that... Oh, and I am sorry about the sucky last chapter. Anytime the line: "WOODLAND POWERS!" comes up, that is Grover talking. Mostly.**

**Shoutout: ****Karaliza76 ****I am very sorry that I am a slow-poke**

**If you want a shoutout, just REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: Do you really think I own PJO? I ownly own that nameless character in the last chapter. I will give her a name in future chapters, don't worry. But, I am not nearly as awesome as Rick Riordan, so...**

"Can I read? This is where he learns I am satyr, I think," Grover asked. **(They are back in the throne room)**

Zeus just tossed the book to him. "Yes, fine."

"Okay! The chapter is: **Grover Unexpectedly Loses His... Pants**_."_

"Stay calm, Grover. Stay calm" Grover muttered to himself while the others cracked up. He took a breath and relaxed, then began, "PERCY JACKSON! Are you crazy?! You better be glad Juniper ain't here! I will... WOODLAND POWERS!"

"What?" Percy asked between fits of laughter.

"WOODLAND POWERS! I can't hurt you because you have the whole 'Mark of Achilles' thing'. And you are my best friend bro! Yeah! WOODLAND POWERS! I will be saying that to annoy you since I cannot hurt you."

"Um, okay. That's... normal. Note the sarcasm," Percy said to the G-Man.

"Can we get on with the chapter? Please, that would be-" Athena began, but Grover cut her off.

"WOODLAND POWERS!"

**GROVER UNEXPECTEDLY LOSES HIS PANTS**

**Confession time: I ditched Grover as soon as we got to the bus terminal.**

"There's a shocker," Thalia said.

"Yeah, it most certainly is," Annabeth said sarcastically while mock-marveling at Percy.

**I know, I know. It was rude. But Grover was freaking me out, looking at me like I was a dead man, muttering "Why does this always happen?" and "Why does it always have to he sixth grade?"**

**Whenever he got upset, Grover's bladder acted up, so I wasn't surprised when, as soon as we got off the bus, he made me promise to wait for him, then made a beeline for the restroom. Instead of waiting, I got my suitcase, slipped outside, and caught the first taxi uptown.**

"You little traitor," Ares said while polishing his golden (hint, hint, for those of you who have read the heroes of olympus) knife.

"_If _I may?" Grover said, getting agitated.

**Her name is Sally Jackson and she's the best person in the world, which just proves my theory that the best people have the rottenest luck. Her own parents died in a plane crash when she was five, and she was raised by an uncle who didn't care much about her. She wanted to be a novelist, so she spent high school working to save enough money for a college with a good creative-writing program. Then her uncle got cancer, and she had to quit school her senior year to take care of him. After he died, she was left with no money, no family, and no diploma.**

"WOODLAND POWERS!"

**The only good break she ever got was meeting my dad.**

"I remember Sally," Poseidon whispered, his eyes misty. "She was the kindest, most beautiful," Aphrodite glared. "Mortal woman I had ever seen. Her personality was golden."

"Father, with all due respect, you talk about her like she is dead; she isn't you know."

"I know; I miss her." Poseidon mumbled, the words barely audible.

**I don't have any memories of him, just this sort of warm glow, maybe the barest trace of his smile. My mom doesn't like to talk about him because it makes her sad. She has no pictures.**

**See, they weren't married. She told me he was rich and important, and their relationship was a secret. Then one day, he set sail across the Atlantic on some important journey, and he never came back.**

**Lost at sea, my mom told me. Not dead. Lost at sea****.**

"Well, that is a way of putting it. She didn't lie, that's for sure," Hermes mentioned.

**She worked odd jobs, took night classes to get her high school diploma, and raised me on her own. She never complained or got mad. Not even once. But I knew I wasn't an easy kid.**

**Finally, she married Gabe Ugliano, who was nice the first thirty seconds we knew him, then showed his true colors as a world-class jerk. When I was young, I nicknamed him Smelly Gabe. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. The guy reeked like moldy garlic pizza wrapped in gym shorts.**

"WOODLAND POWERS!"

"How repulsive! I, I- GAH! Calm down, Aphrodite, calm down. You know personal hygiene is important, he just... didn't. Okay! Whew," Aphrodite muttered to herself.

**Between the two of us, we made my mom's life pretty hard. The way Smelly Gabe treated her, the way he and I got along … well, when I came home is a good example.**

**I walked into our little apartment, hoping my mom would be home from work. Instead, Smelly Gabe was in the living room, playing poker with his buddies. The television blared ESPN. Chips and beer cans were strewn all over the carpet.**

"WOODLAND POWERS!" This time Nico joined Grover in the pointless chant.

**Hardly looking up, he said around his cigar, "So, you're home."**

"**Where's my mom?"**

"**Working," he said. "You got any cash?"**

**That was it. No Welcome back. Good to see you. How has your life been the last six months?**

**Gabe had put on weight. He looked like a tuskless walrus in thrift-store clothes. He had about three hairs on his head, all combed over his bald scalp, as if that made him handsome or something.**

"It most certainly does not!" Hera said.

"Yeah, I think we got that," Nico interjected.

"Well! I think with a few products from me and some, you know, counseling would help that. No? Just read, already," Aphrodite grumbled.

**He managed the Electronics Mega-Mart in Queens, but he stayed home most of the time. I don't know why he hadn't been fired long before. He just kept on collecting paychecks, spending the money on cigars that made me nauseous, and on beer, of course. Always beer. Whenever I was home, he expected me to provide his gambling funds. He called that our "guy secret." Meaning, if I told my mom, he would punch my lights out.**

"**I don't have any cash," I told him.**

**He raised a greasy eyebrow.**

"WOODLAND POWERS!"

**Gabe could sniff out money like a bloodhound, which was surprising, since his own smell should've covered up everything else.**

"**You took a taxi from the bus station," he said. Probably paid with a twenty. Got six, seven bucks in change. Somebody expects to live under this roof, he ought to carry his own weight. Am I right, Eddie?"**

**Eddie, the super of the apartment building, looked at me with a twinge of sympathy. "Come on, Gabe," he said. "The kid just got here."**

"**Am I right?" Gabe repeated.**

**Eddie scowled into his bowl of pretzels. The other two guys passed gas in harmony.**

"Ugh! I need to leave this room! You are so graphic in descriptions!" Thalia said.

"I never thought I would ever agree with a _Hunter_ but, I am going too! I know a nice little sushi place on 32nd! Anyone care to join me? Thalia? We can't have you roaming around Olympus! Come with me," Aphrodite said.

Thalia scowled, but eventually gave in, "fine!"

"Try not to rip each others heads off, you two!" Dionysus remarked.

"**Fine," I said. I dug a wad of dollars out of my pocket and threw the money on the table. "I hope you lose."**

"**Your report card came, brain boy!" he shouted after me. "I wouldn't act so snooty!"**

**I slammed the door to my room, which really wasn't my room. During school months, it was Gabe's "study." He didn't study anything in there except old car magazines, but he loved shoving my stuff in the closet, leaving his muddy boots on my windowsill, and doing his best to make the place smell like his nasty cologne and cigars and stale beer.**

**I dropped my suitcase on the bed. Home sweet home.**

"WOODLAND POWERS!"

**Gabe's smell was almost worse than the nightmares about Mrs. Dodds, or the sound of that old fruit lady's shears snipping the yarn.**

**But as soon as I thought that, my legs felt weak. I remembered Grover's look of panic-how he'd made me promise I wouldn't go home without him. A sudden chill rolled through me. I felt like someone-something-was looking for me right now, maybe pounding its way up the stairs, growing long, horrible talons.**

**Then I heard my mom's voice. "Percy?"**

**She opened the bedroom door, and my fears melted.**

"Well, that's nice, at least you get a break from... you know, life," Clarisse said bluntly while staring at the marble floor.

**My mother can make me feel good just by walking into the room. Her eyes sparkle and change color in the light. Her smile is as warm as a quilt. She's got a few gray streaks mixed in with her long brown hair, but I never think of her as old. When she looks at me, it's like she's seeing all the good things about me, none of the bad. I've never heard her raise her voice or say an unkind word to anyone, not even me or Gabe.**

"**Oh, Percy." She hugged me tight. "I can't believe it. You've grown since Christmas!"**

"WOODLAND POWERS!" This time Nico joined Grover in his chant.

"Nico? Why?! Why did you go to the darkside?" Percy pleaded.

Nico shrugged and replied, "It is kinda catchy! I was experimenting."

**Her red-white-and-blue Sweet on America uniform smelled like the best things in the world: chocolate, licorice, and all the other stuff she sold at the candy shop in Grand Central. She'd brought me a huge bag of "free samples," the way she always did when I came home.**

**We sat together on the edge of the bed. While I attacked the blueberry sour strings, she ran her hand through my hair and demanded to know everything I hadn't put in my letters. She didn't mention anything about my getting expelled. She didn't seem to care about that. But was I okay? Was her little boy doing all right?**

"I have met her; she is really nice. She gave me lemonade and a cookie. She is nice," Nico, glaring half-heartedly at Zeus. Then Percy remembered, Nico's mom, Maria Di Angelo, had been killed by Zeus.

Grover cleared his throat loudly and awkwardly.

**I told her she was smothering me, and to lay off and all that, but secretly, I was really, really glad to see her.**

**From the other room, Gabe yelled, "Hey, Sally-how about some bean dip, huh?"**

**I gritted my teeth.**

**My mom is the nicest lady in the world. She should've been married to a millionaire, not to some jerk like Gabe.**

"Woodland powers?"

"WOODLAND POWERS!"

**For her sake, I tried to sound upbeat about my last days at Yancy Academy. I told her I wasn't too down about the expulsion. I'd lasted almost the whole year this time. I'd made some new friends. I'd done pretty well in Latin. And honestly, the fights hadn't been as bad as the headmaster said. I liked Yancy Academy. I really did. I put such a good spin on the year, I almost convinced myself. I started choking up, thinking about Grover and Mr. Brunner. Even Nancy Bobofit suddenly didn't seem so bad.**

**Until that trip to the museum …**

"**What?" my mom asked. Her eyes tugged at my conscience, trying to pull out the secrets. "Did something scare you?"**

"**No, Mom."**

"You were lying!? To your mother!? You should _never _do that! Never," Hera said, staring icily at Ares.

**I felt bad lying. I wanted to tell her about Mrs. Dodds and the three old ladies with the yarn, but I thought it would sound stupid.**

**She pursed her lips. She knew I was holding back, but she didn't push me.**

"**I have a surprise for you," she said. "We're going to the beach."**

**My eyes widened. "Montauk?"**

"**Three nights-same cabin."**

"**When?"**

**She smiled. "As soon as I get changed."**

**I couldn't believe it. My mom and I hadn't been to Montauk the last two summers, because Gabe said there wasn't enough money.**

**Gabe appeared in the doorway and growled, "Bean dip, Sally? Didn't you hear me?"**

**I wanted to punch him, but I met my mom's eyes and I understood she was offering me a deal: be nice to Gabe for a little while. Just until she was ready to leave for Montauk. Then we would get out of here.**

"Ah, Montauk. I love it there," Poseidon mentioned.

"Why? It is terrible there! Cold water! Sand!" Hermes questioned. A wave rolled in out of nowhere at him. "On second thought, it is lovely there," He corrected himself, still staring angily at a certain sea god.

"**I was on my way, honey," she told Gabe. "We were just talking about the trip."**

**Gabe's eyes got small. "The trip? You mean you were serious about that?"**

"**I knew it," I muttered. "He won't let us go."**

"**Of course he will," my mom said evenly. "Your stepfather is just worried about money. That's all. Besides," she added, "Gabriel won't have to settle for bean dip. I'll make him enough seven-layer dip for the whole weekend. Guacamole. Sour cream. The works."**

**Gabe softened a bit. "So this money for your trip … it comes out of your clothes budget, right?"**

"**Yes, honey," my mother said.**

"WOODLAND POWERS!"

"**And you won't take my car anywhere but there and back."**

"**We'll be very careful."**

**Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with that seven-layer dip … And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."**

**Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing soprano for a week.**

The throne room was filled with laughter, it was a wonder the domed ceiling didn't blow up like a balloon.

"Ha, ha. Big joker boy! My sons are so flippin better it should be illegal!" Hermes commented, angrily.

"It is, somewhere, for sures!"

"JUST READ," Hermes growled.

**But my mom's eyes warned me not to make him mad.**

**Why did she put up with this guy? I wanted to scream. Why did she care what he thought?**

"**I'm sorry," I muttered. "I'm really sorry I interrupted your incredibly important poker game. Please go back to it right now."**

**Gabe's eyes narrowed. His tiny brain was probably trying to detect sarcasm in my statement.**

"**Yeah, whatever," he decided.**

**He went back to his game.**

"Poker, ugh! What a repulsive game! Encourages gambling, nasty cardgame for good-for-nothings..." Artemis said.

"What are you talking about? The game flippin rocks," Dionysus countered.

"I absolutely must concur with the Wine Dude," Hermes said.

Nico blushed, remembering when he first got to camp, that's what he had called Mr.D.

With a whole lot of huffing and cussing at the name, he picked out an embarassing nick-name for Hermes. With a glimmer in his eye he said, "Thankyou for agreeing, Postal Stamp!" (**A/N: Now I know that was super lame, if you guys have better one, PM me and give me a better one so I can change it!)**

"Wow, Dionysus, that was SUPER lame! Is that the best you have got!? Come at me!"

"Bring. It. ON. I will take you _down,_" Dionysus replied to Hermes.

Hera scowled at the foolish quarrel, "Oh settle down. Break it up! And, if you don't, take it OUTSIDE! I certainly hope it won't go that far."

They separated with a lot of cussing, saliva, and a few insults regarding a certain queen of the gods.

"**Thank you, Percy," my mom said. "Once we get to Montauk, we'll talk more about… whatever you've forgotten to tell me, okay?"**

**For a moment, I thought I saw anxiety in her eyes-the same fear I'd seen in Grover during the bus ride-as if my mom too felt an odd chill in the air.**

**But then her smile returned, and I figured I must have been mistaken. She ruffled my hair and went to make Gabe his seven-layer dip.**

**An hour later we were ready to leave.**

**Gabe took a break from his poker game long enough to watch me lug my mom's bags to the car. He kept griping and groaning about losing her cooking-and more important, his '78 Camaro-for the whole weekend.**

"**Not a scratch on this car, brain boy," he warned me as I loaded the last bag. "Not one little scratch."**

Poseidon made a low rumbling sound deep in his throat, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, OH MY GODS!"

"What?" Zeus asked, concern, hidden under layers of amusement at his brother's reaction to this part of the book.

"I am trying to count so I won't do this book severe damage," He started calmly. "Only, it is NOT WORKING!"

**Like I'd be the one driving. I was twelve. But that didn't matter to Gabe. If a seagull so much as pooped on his paint job, he'd find a way to blame me.**

**Watching him lumber back toward the apartment building, I got so mad I did something I can't explain. As Gabe reached the doorway, I made the hand gesture I'd seen Grover make on the bus, a sort of warding-off-evil gesture, a clawed hand over my heart, then a shoving movement toward Gabe. The screen door slammed shut so hard it whacked him in the butt and sent him flying up the staircase as if he'd been shot from a cannon. Maybe it was just the wind, or some freak accident with the hinges, but I didn't stay long enough to find out.**

"Ha! He had that coming! Strike one for Kelp Head's son!" Apollo cried.

Two people walked through the double doors,"Hey, we're back," Thalia said walking to her seat.

"Yeah. The sushi was good. We brought you back some, but we kinda ate it on the way back. And the best thing of all: We didn't rip each other's heads off! We came pretty darn close a few times, though," Aphrodite announced. Thalia nodded in agreement.

"Oookaay? Well, that's... good. Grover, keep reading," Nico commented.

**I got in the Camaro and told my mom to step on it.**

**Our rental cabin was on the south shore, way out at the tip of Long Island. It was a little pastel box with faded curtains, half sunken into the dunes. There was always sand in the sheets and spiders in the cabinets, and most of the time the sea was too cold to swim in.**

**I loved the place.**

**We'd been going there since I was a baby. My mom had been going even longer. She never exactly said, but I knew why the beach was special to her. It was the place where she'd met my dad.**

**As we got closer to Montauk, she seemed to grow younger, years of worry and work disappearing from her face. Her eyes turned the color of the sea.**

"WOODLAND POWERS!" Annabeth chanted right along with Nico and Grover.

"Annabeth," Percy whined. "Not you too!" Annabeth just rolled her eyes.

**We got there at sunset, opened all the cabin's windows, and went through our usual cleaning routine. We walked on the beach, fed blue corn chips to the seagulls, and munched on blue jelly beans, blue saltwater taffy, and all the other free samples my mom had brought from work.**

**I guess I should explain the blue food.**

"Yes, I think an expaination would suffice," Hephaestus said tinkering with a tiny robotic tuna fish, assembling, then disassembling it, over and over.

**See, Gabe had once told my mom there was no such thing. They had this fight, which seemed like a really small thing at the time. But ever since, my mom went out of her way to eat blue. She baked blue birthday cakes. She mixed blueberry smoothies. She bought blue-corn tortilla chips and brought home blue candy from the shop. This-along with keeping her maiden name, Jackson, rather than calling herself Mrs. Ugliano-was proof that she wasn't totally suckered by Gabe. She did have a rebellious streak, like me.**

"I like your mother, self-sufficient in a way. Cool," Artemis said.

**When it got dark, we made a fire. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. Mom told me stories about when she was a kid, back before her parents died in the plane crash. She told me about the books she wanted to write someday, when she had enough money to quit the candy shop.**

**Eventually, I got up the nerve to ask about what was always on my mind whenever we came to Montauk-my father. Mom's eyes went all misty. I figured she would tell me the same things she always did, but I never got tired of hearing them.**

"**He was kind, Percy," she said. "Tall, handsome, and powerful. But gentle, too. You have his black hair, you know, and his green eyes."**

"Yeah, black hair, green eyes, you do look a lot alike," Annabeth said studying Percy's face. She then blushed and looked away.

"Yes, we know, Percy is just _so _amazingly awesome! Note the sarcasm, keep reading Underwood," Ares growled.

**Mom fished a blue jelly bean out of her candy bag. "I wish he could see you, Percy. He would be so proud."**

**I wondered how she could say that. What was so great about me? A dyslexic, hyperactive boy with a D+ report card, kicked out of school for the sixth time in six years.**

"**How old was I?" I asked. "I mean … when he left?"**

**She watched the flames. "He was only with me for one summer, Percy. Right here at this beach. This cabin."**

"**But… he knew me as a baby."**

"**No, honey. He knew I was expecting a baby, but he never saw you. He had to leave before you were born."**

**I tried to square that with the fact that I seemed to remember … something about my father. A warm glow. A smile.**

"I did see you, Perseus. I am proud of you," Poseidon said. Was the all-powerful sea-god getting misty-eyed?

**I had always assumed he knew me as a baby. My mom had never said it outright, but still, I'd felt it must be true. Now, to be told that he'd never even seen me …**

**I felt angry at my father. Maybe it was stupid, but I resented him for going on that ocean voyage, for not having the guts to marry my mom. He'd left us, and now we were stuck with Smelly Gabe.**

"**Are you going to send me away again?" I asked her. "To another boarding school?"**

**She pulled a marshmallow from the fire.**

"**I don't know, honey." Her voice was heavy. "I think … I think we'll have to do something."**

"**Because you don't want me around?" I regretted the words as soon as they were out.**

**My mom's eyes welled with tears. She took my hand, squeezed it tight. "Oh, Percy, no. I-I have to, honey. For your own good. I have to send you away."**

**Her words reminded me of what Mr. Brunner had said-that it was best for me to leave Yancy.**

"**Because I'm not normal," I said.**

"You say weird like it is a bad thing! Of course it's not! It is just like being normal... only _better,_" interrupted Hades.

**"You say that as if it's a bad thing, Percy. But you don't realize how important you are. I thought Yancy Academy would be far enough away. I thought you'd finally be safe."**

"**Safe from what?"**

**She met my eyes, and a flood of memories came back to me-all the weird, scary things that had ever happened to me, some of which I'd tried to forget.**

**During third grade, a man in a black trench coat had stalked me on the playground. When the teachers threatened to call the police, he went away growling, but no one believed me when I told them that under his broad-brimmed hat, the man only had one eye, right in the middle of his head.**

**"Ah, cyclops," Annabeth pondered through her memories of the mansion she got lost in when she was seven, traveling with Luke and Thalia.**

**Before that-a really early memory. I was in preschool, and a teacher accidentally put me down for a nap in a cot that a snake had slithered into. My mom screamed when she came to pick me up and found me playing with a limp, scaly rope I'd somehow managed to strangle to death with my meaty toddler hands.**

**In every single school, something creepy had happened, something unsafe, and I was forced to move.**

**I knew I should tell my mom about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds at the art museum, about my weird hallucination that I had sliced my math teacher into dust with a sword. But I couldn't make myself tell her. I had a strange feeling the news would end our trip to Montauk, and I didn't want that.**

"**I've tried to keep you as close to me as I could," my mom said. "They told me that was a mistake. But there's only one other option, Percy-the place your father wanted to send you. And I just… I just can't stand to do it."**

"I remember that, I was so confused," Percy mentioned sadly.

"**My father wanted me to go to a special school?"**

"**Not a school," she said softly. "A summer camp."**

**My head was spinning. Why would my dad-who hadn't even stayed around long enough to see me born- talk to my mom about a summer camp? And if it was so important, why hadn't she ever mentioned it before?**

"**I'm sorry, Percy," she said, seeing the look in my eyes. "But I can't talk about it. I-I couldn't send you to that place. It might mean saying good-bye to you for good."**

"**For good? But if it's only a summer camp …"**

**She turned toward the fire, and I knew from her expression that if I asked her any more questions she would start to cry.**

**That night I had a vivid dream.**

"When do demigods not? You gods seriously need to talk to Morpheus and Hypnos about that," Clarisse grumbled.

**It was storming on the beach, and two beautiful animals, a white horse and a golden eagle, were trying to kill each other at the edge of the surf. The eagle swooped down and slashed the horse's muzzle with its huge talons. The horse reared up and kicked at the eagles wings. As they fought, the ground rumbled, and a monstrous voice chuckled somewhere beneath the earth, goading the animals to fight harder.**

**I ran toward them, knowing I had to stop them from killing each other, but I was running in slow motion. I knew I would be too late. I saw the eagle dive down, its beak aimed at the horse's wide eyes, and I screamed, No!**

**I woke with a start.**

"Wow. That was quite the dream. Let's analyze it, shall we? The eagle: Zeus, obviously, the horse: Poseidon. Sea and sky fighting? Catastrophe! What. Did. You. Do?" Athena said, pondering over Percy's dream.

**Outside, it really was storming, the kind of storm that cracks trees and blows down houses. There was no horse or eagle on the beach, just lightning making false daylight, and twenty-foot waves pounding the dunes like artillery.**

**With the next thunderclap, my mom woke. She sat up, eyes wide, and said, "Hurricane."**

"WOODLAND POWERS!"

**I knew that was crazy. Long Island never sees hurricanes this early in the summer. But the ocean seemed to have forgotten. Over the roar of the wind, I heard a distant bellow, an angry, tortured sound that made my hair stand on end.**

**Then a much closer noise, like mallets in the sand. A desperate voice-someone yelling, pounding on our cabin door.**

**My mother sprang out of bed in her nightgown and threw open the lock.**

**Grover stood framed in the doorway against a backdrop of pouring rain. But he wasn't… he wasn't exactly Grover.**

"**Searching all night," he gasped. "What were you thinking?"**

**My mother looked at me in terror-not scared of Grover, but of why he'd come.**

"I _still _can't believe you left me, I was ticked off! WOODLAND POWERS!" Grover screamed.

Percy shrugged and smiled sheepishly, "Sorry."

"**Percy," she said, shouting to be heard over the rain. "What happened at school? What didn't you tell me?"**

**I was frozen, looking at Grover. I couldn't understand what I was seeing.**

"**O Zeu kai alloi theoi!" he yelled. "It's right behind me! Didn't you tell her?"**

**I was too shocked to register that he'd just cursed in Ancient Greek, and I'd understood him perfectly. I was too shocked to wonder how Grover had gotten here by himself in the middle of the night. Because Grover didn't have his pants on-and where his legs should be … where his legs should be …**

**My mom looked at me sternly and talked in a tone she'd never used before: "Percy. Tell me now!"**

**I stammered something about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds, and my mom stared at me, her face deathly pale in the flashes of lightning.**

**She grabbed her purse, tossed me my rain jacket, and said, "Get to the car. Both of you. Go!"**

**Grover ran for the Camaro-but he wasn't running, exactly. He was trotting, shaking his shaggy hindquarters, and suddenly his story about a muscular disorder in his legs made sense to me. I understood how he could run so fast and still limp when he walked.**

**Because where his feet should be, there were no feet. There were cloven hooves.**

"What the Hades does 'cloven' mean?!" Clarisse asked.

"Stop using my name! Say, what the highway, or what the Hawaii! You are getting on my nerves," Hades shouted.

"WOODLAND POWERS! WOODLAND POWERS! WOODLAND POWERS!" Grover screamed. "Who wants to read next?"

**A/N: I know, I am an utter disappointment. I am super slow, school sucks. Education is important, don't get me wrong. School, however, is another matter. I need you guys to review. I am gonna let the gang take a break in a few chapters. I need help deciding what they will do! Should I invite the other characters from CH-B to come in one of them? Travis&Connor Stoll, Katie, Chiron, Tyson, etcetera, etcetera? Funny nicknames for Hermes, put them in your reviews! Sorry this took so long, review more, I will work faster!**


	6. mymotherteachesmebullfighting

**A/N: Sorry that I am so slow guys! The teachers have shown no mercy in terms of homework! *Cough, math,cough*. Chapter four! I am so far from being done with the series, it may never happen! This is why I need you guys to review! I do my best when I have your opinion! Do any of you find it weird that I have the IMPERIAL MARCH by dubstep on my ipod and listen to it all the time?**

**Disclaimer: Rick Riordan said to me: "Get away from me! You will never own Percy Jackson!" I rest my case.**

"Next?" Zeus asked.

"Here, I'll read," Thalia offered.

"Okay! **My Mother Teaches Me Bullfighting!"**

"You sure do have a passion for strange chapter names, don't you, Seaweed Brain?" Annabeth said to Percy.

Aphrodite was about to start giggling uncontrollably at the nickname when Thalia interrupted her by reading.

**We tore through the night along dark country roads. Wind slammed against the Camaro. Rain lashed the windshield. I didn't know how my mom could see anything, but she kept her foot on the gas.**

**Every time there was a flash of lightning, I looked at Grover sitting next to me in the backseat and I wondered if I'd gone insane, or if he was wearing some kind of shag-carpet pants. But, no, the smell was one I remembered from kindergarten field trips to the petting zoo- lanolin, like from wool. The smell of a wet barnyard animal.**

"Ooh! He figures it out! WOODLAND POWERS!"

"Dude, you are still on about that?" Percy asked, thoroughly annoyed.

**All I could think to say was, "So, you and my mom… know each other?"**

**Graver's eyes flitted to the rearview mirror, though there were no cars behind us. "Not exactly," he said. "I mean, we've never met in person. But she knew I was watching you."**

"**Watching me?"**

"**Keeping tabs on you. Making sure you were okay. But I wasn't faking being your friend," he added hastily. "I am your friend."**

"**Urn … what are you, exactly?"**

"**That doesn't matter right now."**

"**It doesn't matter? From the waist down, my best friend is a donkey-"**

"Ooh! Burn," Dionysus said while Grover scowled. Mr. D sipped his Diet Coke, and added "Ha-ha."

**Grover let out a sharp, throaty "Blaa-ha-ha!"**

**I'd heard him make that sound before, but I'd always assumed it was a nervous laugh. Now I realized it was more of an irritated bleat.**

"**Goat!" he cried.**

"**What?"**

"**I'm a goat from the waist down."**

"**You just said it didn't matter."**

"**Blaa-ha-ha! There are satyrs who would trample you underhoof for such an insult!".**

"Ha, ha. Under_hoof,"_Nico muttered.

"**Whoa. Wait. Satyrs. You mean like … Mr. Brunner's myths?"**

"**Were those old ladies at the fruit stand a myth, Percy? Was Mrs. Dodds a myth?"**

"**So you admit there was a Mrs. Dodds!"**

"**Of course."**

"**Then why-"**

"**The less you knew, the fewer monsters you'd attract," Grover said, like that should be perfectly obvious. "We put Mist over the humans' eyes. We hoped you'd think the Kindly One was a hallucination. But it was no good. You started to realize who you are."**

"**Who I-wait a minute, what do you mean?"**

**The weird bellowing noise rose up again somewhere behind us, closer than before. Whatever was chasing us was still on our trail.**

"**Percy," my mom said, "there's too much to explain and not enough time. We have to get you to safety."**

"**Safety from what? Who's after me?"**

"**Oh, nobody much," Grover said, obviously still miffed about the donkey comment. "Just the Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood-thirstiest minions."**

Thalia commented: "Again, mysterious much, Grover?" T

"Yeah, I am so mysterious!"

"Not as freakin' mysterious as Hades or Nico!" Percy interjected.

Nico really didn't have anything to say to this, so he just told Thalia to continue reading.

"**Grover!"**

"**Sorry, Mrs. Jackson. Could you drive faster, please?"**

**I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening, but I couldn't do it. I knew this wasn't a dream. I had no imagination. I could never dream up something this weird.**

**My mom made a hard left. We swerved onto a narrower road, racing past darkened farmhouses and wooded hills and PICK YOUR OWN STRAWBERRIES signs on white picket fences.**

"**Where are we going?" I asked.**

"**The summer camp I told you about." My mother's voice was tight; she was trying for my sake not to be scared. "The place your father wanted to send you."**

"**The place you didn't want me to go."**

"**Please, dear," my mother begged. "This is hard enough. Try to understand. You're in danger."**

"**Because some old ladies cut yarn."**

"Thankyou for dumbing it down, Perce," Annabeth mentioned.

"Your welcome!" He replied.

Annabeth just rolled her eyes and motioned for Grover to continue reading.

"**Those weren't old ladies," Grover said. "Those were the Fates. Do you know what it means-the fact they appeared in front of you? They only do that when you're about to … when someone's about to die."**

"**Whoa. You said 'you.'"**

"**No I didn't. I said 'someone.'"**

"**You meant 'you.' As in me."**

"**I meant you, like 'someone.' Not you, you."**

"Bicker. Bicker. Simmer down, now children." Hera scolded.

"Children? We are sixteen! AND we fight freakin' monsters! Children? Sheesh," Thalia grumbled.

"Wait, where is Clarisse?" Nico asked. There was some crashing noises coming from outside and a whole lot of cursing in Greek. Clarisse strode into the throne room and took her seat.

"Hey," she said casually. "Whatever you, do don't go outside."

"Why?" Annabeth asked.

Clarisse just shook her head erratically and answered: "Um... Phobos... kinda trashed Olympus..." (If you don't know who Phobos is read Percy Jackson and the Stolen Chariot short story)

"**Boys!" my mom said.**

**She pulled the wheel hard to the right, and I got a glimpse of a figure she'd swerved to avoid-a dark fluttering shape now lost behind us in the storm.**

"**What was that?" I asked.**

"**We're almost there," my mother said, ignoring my question. "Another mile. Please. Please. Please."**

**I didn't know where there was, but I found myself leaning forward in the car, anticipating, wanting us to arrive.**

**Outside, nothing but rain and darkness-the kind of empty countryside you get way out on the tip of Long Island. I thought about Mrs. Dodds and the moment when she'd changed into the thing with pointed teeth and leathery wings. My limbs went numb from delayed shock. She really hadn't been human. She'd meant to kill me.**

**Then I thought about Mr. Brunner … and the sword he had thrown me. Before I could ask Grover about that, the hair rose on the back of my neck. There was a blinding flash, a jaw-rattling boom!, and our car exploded.**

**I remember feeling weightless, like I was being crushed, fried, and hosed down all at the same time.**

**I peeled my forehead off the back of the driver's seat and said, "Ow."**

"'Ow'? OW! In the most crucial of times, your first word is 'OW'!" Zeus boomed.

Percy shrugged before answering, "Yes."

"Zeus, lay off my son!"

"**Percy!" my mom shouted.**

"**I'm okay… ."**

**I tried to shake off the daze. I wasn't dead. The car hadn't really exploded. We'd swerved into a ditch. Our driver's-side doors were wedged in the mud. The roof had cracked open like an eggshell and rain was pouring in.**

**Lightning. That was the only explanation. We'd been blasted right off the road. Next to me in the backseat was a big motionless lump. "Grover!"**

**He was slumped over, blood trickling from the side of his mouth. I shook his furry hip, thinking, No! Even if you are half barnyard animal, you're my best friend and I don't want you to die!**

**Then he groaned "Food," and I knew there was hope.**

"**Percy," my mother said, "we have to …" Her voice faltered.**

**I looked back. In a flash of lightning, through the mud-spattered rear windshield, I saw a figure lumbering toward us on the shoulder of the road. The sight of it made my skin crawl. It was a dark silhouette of a huge guy, like a football player. He seemed to be holding a blanket over his head. His top half was bulky and fuzzy. His upraised hands made it look like he had horns.**

Poseidon was sitting forward in his chair anticipating what would happen next. His face was pale and his knuckles white from holding on so tight.

"Um, Dad? I am still here, so... I am really sure that I live." Percy said, calming his father down.

**I swallowed hard. "Who is-"**

"**Percy," my mother said, deadly serious. "Get out of the car."**

**My mother threw herself against the driver's-side door. It was jammed shut in the mud. I tried mine. Stuck too. I looked up desperately at the hole in the roof. It might've been an exit, but the edges were sizzling and smoking.**

"**Climb out the passenger's side!" my mother told me. "Percy-you have to run. Do you see that big tree?"**

"**What?"**

**Another flash of lightning, and through the smoking hole in the roof I saw the tree she meant: a huge, White House Christmas tree-sized pine at the crest of the nearest hill.**

"**That's the property line," my mom said. "Get over that hill and you'll see a big farmhouse down in the valley. Run and don't look back. Yell for help. Don't stop until you reach the door."**

"**Mom, you're coming too."**

**Her face was pale, her eyes as sad as when she looked at the ocean.**

"**No!" I shouted. "You are coming with me. Help me carry Grover."**

"**Food!" Grover moaned, a little louder.**

**The man with the blanket on his head kept coming toward us, making his grunting, snorting noises. As he got closer, I realized he couldn't be holding a blanket over his head, because his hands-huge meaty hands-were swinging at his sides. There was no blanket. Meaning the bulky, fuzzy mass that was too big to be his head … was his head. And the points that looked like horns …**

"**He doesn't want us," my mother told me. "He wants you. Besides, I can't cross the property line."**

"**But…"**

"**We don't have time, Percy. Go. Please."**

"ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!" Hera preached.

**I got mad, then-mad at my mother, at Grover the goat, at the thing with horns that was lumbering toward us slowly and deliberately like, like a bull.**

**I climbed across Grover and pushed the door open into the rain. "We're going together. Come on, Mom."**

"**I told you-"**

"**Mom! I am not leaving you. Help me with Grover."**

**I didn't wait for her answer. I scrambled outside, dragging Grover from the car. He was surprisingly light, but I couldn't have carried him very far if my mom hadn't come to my aid.**

**Together, we draped Grover's arms over our shoulders and started stumbling uphill through wet waist-high grass.**

**"**Mmm... Grass. Yeah," sighed Demeter. "Hades, you never let my daughter see the grass, because you keep her prisoner -sorry, 'your wife'- and all she has are those cursed gems!"

"May we npt do this here, Stepmother? Honestly, the last time we did there was cereal and bones everywhere." Hades replied calmly.

**Glancing back, I got my first clear look at the monster. He was seven feet tall, easy, his arms and legs like something from the cover of Muscle Man magazine-bulging biceps and triceps and a bunch of other 'ceps, all stuffed like baseballs under vein-webbed skin. He wore no clothes except underwear-I mean, bright white Fruit of the Looms-which would've looked funny, except that the top half of his body was so scary. Coarse brown hair started at about his belly button and got thicker as it reached his shoulders.**

"Eww! I _hate _all this monster business!" Aphrodite whined.

"The goddess of _love hates _?" Ares commented while Aphrodite just rolled her eyes.

**His neck was a mass of muscle and fur leading up to his enormous head, which had a snout as long as my arm, snotty nostrils with a gleaming brass ring, cruel black eyes, and horns-enormous black-and-white horns with points you just couldn't get from an electric sharpener.**

"That was kinda funny, the way you described him." Hermes frowned.

**I recognized the monster, all right. He had been in one of the first stories Mr. Brunner told us. But he couldn't be real.**

**I blinked the rain out of my eyes. "That's-"**

"**Pasiphae's son," my mother said. "I wish I'd known how badly they want to kill you."**

"**But he's the Min-"**

"**Don't say his name," she warned. "Names have power."**

"Yes, don't you know that, Silly Boy?" Thalia teased.

"Whatever, Pinecone Face," Percy rolled his eyes.

**The pine tree was still way too far-a hundred yards uphill at least.**

**I glanced behind me again.**

**The bull-man hunched over our car, looking in the windows-or not looking, exactly. More like snuffling, nuzzling. I wasn't sure why he bothered, since we were only about fifty feet away.**

"**Food?" Grover moaned.**

"**Shhh," I told him. "Mom, what's he doing? Doesn't he see us?"**

"**His sight and hearing are terrible," she said. "He goes by smell. But he'll figure out where we are soon enough."**

**As if on cue, the bull-man bellowed in rage. He picked up Gabe's Camaro by the torn roof, the chassis creaking and groaning. He raised the car over his head and threw it down the road. It slammed into the wet asphalt and skidded in a shower of sparks for about half a mile before coming to a stop. The gas tank exploded.**

**Not a scratch, I remembered Gabe saying.**

**Oops.**

"Ha, ha, ha. 'Oops." Grover said, random chuckling.

"WOODLAND POWERS!" Percy shouted. Grover groaned.

"That was my thing against you!"

Percy smirked," Not anymore."

"It doesn't work the same, Seaweed Brain. You _have _no woodland powers," Annabeth interjected.

"HYDROKINESIS!"

"**Percy," my mom said. "When he sees us, he'll charge. Wait until the last second, then jump out of the way- directly sideways. He can't change directions very well once he's charging. Do you understand?"**

"**How do you know all this?"**

"**I've been worried about an attack for a long time. I should have expected this. I was selfish, keeping you near me."**

"**Keeping me near you? But-"**

**Another bellow of rage, and the bull-man started tromping uphill.**

**He'd smelled us.**

"Thankyou Captain Obvious!" Annabeth said to Percy.

"Your, welcome Sergeant Sarcastic!"

"Whatever Comrade Comback." Annabeth countered.

"Whatever, Senior Smartalec," Percy smirked.

"Dictator -"

"Annabeth Chase. _Enough," _Hera and Athena chided in unison, causing each other to glare pointedly at one another. [They never got along, Athena was not a child of Hera.]

**The pine tree was only a few more yards, but the hill was getting steeper and slicker, and Grover wasn't getting any lighter.**

**The bull-man closed in. Another few seconds and he'd be on top of us.**

**My mother must've been exhausted, but she shouldered Grover. "Go, Percy! Separate! Remember what I said."**

**I didn't want to split up, but I had the feeling she was right-it was our only chance. I sprinted to the left, turned, and saw the creature bearing down on me. His black eyes glowed with hate. He reeked like rotten meat.**

"It's always nice to be vegetarian, you know," Demeter told them

**He lowered his head and charged, those razor-sharp horns aimed straight at my chest.**

**The fear in my stomach made me want to bolt, but that wouldn't work. I could never outrun this thing. So I held my ground, and at the last moment, I jumped to the side.**

**The bull-man stormed past like a freight train, then bellowed with frustration and turned, but not toward me this time, toward my mother, who was setting Grover down in the grass.**

**We'd reached the crest of the hill. Down the other side I could see a valley, just as my mother had said, and the lights of a farmhouse glowing yellow through the rain. But that was half a mile away. We'd never make it.**

By now, Poseidon was about chew his hands off from eating the nails off his hands.

"Eww... Honestly, Poseidon, you're making your fingers gross, stop," Aphrodite suggested.

**The bull-man grunted, pawing the ground. He kept eyeing my mother, who was now retreating slowly downhill, back toward the road, trying to lead the monster away from Grover.**

"**Run, Percy!" she told me. "I can't go any farther. Run!"**

**But I just stood there, frozen in fear, as the monster charged her. She tried to sidestep, as she'd told me to do, but the monster had learned his lesson. His hand shot out and grabbed her by the neck as she tried to get away. He lifted her as she struggled, kicking and pummeling the air.**

"**Mom!"**

"Sally," Poseidon threw a, very loud, caughing fit. "Hades, if you kill her, I swear by-"

Hades simplying waved him off with his hand and said, "yes, yes. You'll kill me and my immortal hide, even if you have to personally throw me into Tartarus. We've heard these promises before, Brother."

Poseidon growled in frustration, before the Lord of the Sky commanded him to calm down. He didn't look happy about since he was glaring daggers at a certain death god.

**She caught my eyes, managed to choke out one last word: "Go!"**

**Then, with an angry roar, the monster closed his fists around my mother's neck, and she dissolved before my eyes, melting into light, a shimmering golden form, as if she were a holographic projection. A blinding flash, and she was simply … gone.**

Percy face was saddened, as he remembered his cluelessness on demigods back then. He noticed Nico looked depressed as well. Sometimes, he has to remember that other people's lived suck just as much, if not more, than his. After all, Nico was a few years younger (well, sort of, since he went to Lotus Land) than he was, and he already carried the burden of being a demigod.

"**No!"**

**Anger replaced my fear. Newfound strength burned in my limbs-the same rush of energy I'd gotten when Mrs. Dodds grew talons.**

**The bull-man bore down on Grover, who lay helpless in the grass. The monster hunched over, snuffling my best friend, as if he were about to lift Grover up and make him dissolve too.**

**I couldn't allow that.**

**I stripped off my red rain jacket.**

"**Hey!" I screamed, waving the jacket, running to one side of the monster. "Hey, stupid! Ground beef!"**

"Wow, good insults, Prissy. Really," Clarisse marveled.

"Oh, like you could do any better, Clarisse," Percy defended.

"Oh, do you wanna go!? I could take you _down. _Wanna hear my insults, do ya? Well, you wriggling-"

Annabeth exhaled, "Please, Clarisse, that sounded wrong. Just... wrong."

Clarisse blushed but, pointed her fist at Percy Jackson, sending a clear message: _This isn't over. If you cross me again, cutthroat._

"**Raaaarrrrr!" The monster turned toward me, shaking his meaty fists.**

**I had an idea-a stupid idea, but better than no idea at all. I put my back to the big pine tree and waved my red jacket in front of the bull-man, thinking I'd jump out of the way at the last moment.**

**But it didn't happen like that.**

**The bull-man charged too fast, his arms out to grab me whichever way I tried to dodge.**

**Time slowed down.**

**My legs tensed. I couldn't jump sideways, so I leaped straight up, kicking off from the creature's head, using it as a springboard, turning in midair, and landing on his neck.**

"Ha! Alright! Violence!" Ares bellowed.

"Please, son, do shut up," Zeus commanded.

**How did I do that? I didn't have time to figure it out. A millisecond later, the monster's head slammed into the tree and the impact nearly knocked my teeth out.**

**The bull-man staggered around, trying to shake me. I locked my arms around his horns to keep from being thrown. Thunder and lightning were still going strong. The rain was in my eyes. The smell of rotten meat burned my nostrils.**

**The monster shook himself around and bucked like a rodeo bull. He should have just backed up into the tree and smashed me flat, but I was starting to realize that this thing had only one gear: forward.**

**Meanwhile, Grover started groaning in the grass. I wanted to yell at him to shut up, but the way I was getting tossed around, if I opened my mouth I'd bite my own tongue off.**

"**Food!" Grover moaned.**

"Yes, food. That reminds me: I am hungry." Apollo said.

"Brother, when are you _not _hungry?" Artemis demanded. "We will eat later!"

**The bull-man wheeled toward him, pawed the ground again, and got ready to charge. I thought about how he had squeezed the life out of my mother, made her disappear in a flash of light, and rage filled me like high-octane fuel. I got both hands around one horn and I pulled backward with all my might. The monster tensed, gave a surprised grunt, then-snap!**

**The bull-man screamed and flung me through the air. I landed flat on my back in the grass. My head smacked against a rock. When I sat up, my vision was blurry, but I had a horn in my hands, a ragged bone weapon the size of a knife.**

"Poseidon! Do not be foolish, this happened in the past, Percy is alive!" Athena told him.

**The monster charged.**

**Without thinking, I rolled to one side and came up kneeling. As the monster barreled past, I drove the broken horn straight into his side, right up under his furry rib cage.**

**The bull-man roared in agony. He flailed, clawing at his chest, then began to disintegrate-not like my mother, in a flash of golden light, but like crumbling sand, blown away in chunks by the wind, the same way Mrs. Dodds had burst apart.**

**The monster was gone.**

**The rain had stopped. The storm still rumbled, but only in the distance. I smelled like livestock and my knees were shaking. My head felt like it was splitting open. I was weak and scared and trembling with grief I'd just seen my mother vanish. I wanted to lie down and cry, but there was Grover, needing my help, so I managed to haul him up and stagger down into the valley, toward the lights of the farmhouse. I was crying, calling for my mother, but I held on to Grover-I wasn't going to let him go.**

**The last thing I remember is collapsing on a wooden porch, looking up at a ceiling fan circling above me, moths flying around a yellow light, and the stern faces of a familiar-looking bearded man and a pretty girl, her blond hair curled like a princess's. They both looked down at me, and the girl said, "He's the one. He must be."**

"**Silence, Annabeth," the man said. "He's still conscious. Bring him inside."**

"Cool! This is where I come in!"Annabeth commented.

Thalia frowned. "The chapter is over, who's the lucky reader next?


	7. iplaypinoclewithahorse

**A/N: I know it's been about two months, so I am really, really sorry. I would feed you some excuses, but who am I kidding?**

**DISCLAIMER: I disclaim this. PJO's rights go to Rick Riordan.**

"I will," Dionysus announced in a bored voice.

Everbody look at him in awe of his sudden curiosity.

"What? I find this fool's antics entertaining." Mr.D opened the book to the correct page. "Alright, **I Play Pinocle With A Horse. **Chiron, I presume?"

Percy nodded.

**I had weird dreams full of barnyard animals. Most of them wanted to kill me. The rest wanted food.**

**I must've woken up several times, but what I heard and saw made no sense, so I just passed out again. I remember lying in a soft bed, being spoon-fed something that tasted like buttered popcorn, only it was pudding. The girl with curly blond hair hovered over me, smirking as she scraped drips off my chin with the spoon.**

"Ahh! That's you!" Thalia pointed at Annabeth.

"Noooo!" Annabeth said sarcastically.

"Shh! I am _trying _to tell a story, _if you please!" _Dionysus scolded.

**When she saw my eyes open, she asked, "What will happen at the summer solstice?"**

**I managed to croak, "What?"**

**She looked around, as if afraid someone would overhear. "What's going on? What was stolen? We've only got a few weeks!"**

"Way to be clear, Anna." Clarisse said, playing with her knife.

"Don't _call _me that!" Annabeth growled.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Would you prefer_ Beth?" _Clarisse retorted.

Annabeth shrieked with anger. She drew her knife from her belt loop. Demigods are nearly always armed.

"Ares must be feeling particularly violent today," Zeus commented.

Ares glared so hard, it was a miracle no one burst into flames.

"**I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I don't…"**

**Somebody knocked on the door, and the girl quickly filled my mouth with pudding.**

**The next time I woke up, the girl was gone.**

**A husky blond dude, like a surfer, stood in the corner of the bedroom keeping watch over me. He had blue eyes- at least a dozen of them-on his cheeks, his forehead, the backs of his hands.**

"Argus," Annabeth, Thalia, and Clarisse said in unison.

**When I finally came around for good, there was nothing weird about my surroundings, except that they were nicer than I was used to. I was sitting in a deck chair on a huge porch, gazing across a meadow at green hills in the distance. The breeze smelled like strawberries. There was a blanket over my legs, a pillow behind my neck. All that was great, but my mouth felt like a scorpion had been using it for a nest. My tongue was dry and nasty and every one of my teeth hurt.**

**On the table next to me was a tall drink. It looked like iced apple juice, with a green straw and a paper parasol stuck through a maraschino cherry.**

**My hand was so weak I almost dropped the glass once I got my fingers around it.**

"**Careful," a familiar voice said.**

**Grover was leaning against the porch railing, looking like he hadn't slept in a week. Under one arm, he cradled a shoe box. He was wearing blue jeans, Converse hi-tops and a bright orange T-shirt that said CAMP HALF-BLOOD. Just plain old Grover, Not the goat boy.**

"Hey!" Grover huffed indignantly. "'Goat boy' is an offensive term!"

Percy put up his hands in surrender, and said "I didn't know that you what you were! Much less a satyr!"

**So maybe I'd had a nightmare. Maybe my mom was okay. We were still on vacation, and we'd stopped here at this big house for some reason. And …**

"**You saved my life," Grover said. "I… well, the least I could do … I went back to the hill. I thought you might want this."**

**Reverently, he placed the shoe box in my lap.**

**Inside was a black-and-white bull's horn, the base jagged from being broken off, the tip splattered with dried blood. It hadn't been a nightmare.**

"**The Minotaur," I said.**

"**Urn, Percy, it isn't a good idea-"**

"Yes silly boy, don't say the name," chided Demeter.

"**That's what they call him in the Greek myths, isn't it?" I demanded. "The Minotaur. Half man, half bull."**

**Grover shifted uncomfortably. "You've been out for two days. How much do you remember?"**

"**My mom. Is she really …"**

**He looked down.**

**I stared across the meadow. There were groves of trees, a winding stream, acres of strawberries spread out under the blue sky. The valley was surrounded by rolling hills, and the tallest one, directly in front of us, was the one with the huge pine tree on top. Even that looked beautiful in the sunlight.**

**My mother was gone. The whole world should be black and cold. Nothing should look beautiful.**

"A world without beauty, is a dead, cold, shriveled corpse of a world," interrupted Aphrodite.

"Yes," Dionysus agreed impatiently. "Now may I continue?"

"**I'm sorry," Grover sniffled. "I'm a failure. I'm-I'm the worst satyr in the world."**

**He moaned, stomping his foot so hard it came off. I mean, the Converse hi-top came off. The inside was filled with Styrofoam, except for a hoof-shaped hole.**

"**Oh, Styx!" he mumbled.**

**Thunder rolled across the clear sky.**

At this, the throne room swiveled their heads toward Zeus.

"Well? Continue!" He ordered.

**As he struggled to get his hoof back in the fake foot, I thought, Well, that settles it.**

**Grover was a satyr. I was ready to bet that if I shaved his curly brown hair, I'd find tiny horns on his head. But I was too miserable to care that satyrs existed, or even minotaurs. All that meant was my mom really had been squeezed into nothingness, dissolved into yellow light.**

**I was alone. An orphan. I would have to live with … Smelly Gabe? No. That would never happen. I would live on the streets first. I would pretend I was seventeen and join the army. I'd do something.**

Ares snorted. "Yeah! Like the army'd accept you."

**Grover was still sniffling. The poor kid-poor goat, satyr, whatever-looked as if he expected to be hit.**

**I said, "It wasn't your fault."**

"**Yes, it was. I was supposed to protect you."**

"**Did my mother ask you to protect me?"**

"**No. But that's my job. I'm a keeper. At least… I was."**

Thalia suddenly found interest in her shoes, and she stared at them, but Zeus' face remained impassive as Dionysus continued.

"**But why …" I suddenly felt dizzy, my vision swimming.**

"**Don't strain yourself," Grover said. "Here." He helped me hold my glass and put the straw to my lips.**

**I recoiled at the taste, because I was expecting apple juice. It wasn't that at all. It was chocolate-chip cookies. Liquid cookies. And not just any cookies-my mom's homemade blue chocolate-chip cookies, buttery and hot, with the chips still melting. Drinking it, my whole body felt warm and good, full of energy. My grief didn't go away, but I felt as if my mom had just brushed her hand against my cheek, given me a cookie the way she used to when I was small, and told me everything was going to be okay.**

**Before I knew it, I'd drained the glass. I stared into it, sure I'd just had a warm drink, but the ice cubes hadn't even melted.**

"**Was it good?" Grover asked.**

**I nodded.**

"**What did it taste like?" He sounded so wistful, I felt guilty.**

"**Sorry," I said. "I should've let you taste."**

**His eyes got wide. "No! That's not what I meant. I just… wondered."**

"**Chocolate-chip cookies," I said. "My mom's. Homemade."**

"That sounds amazing," Hephastus grunted, almost wistfully. "Unfortunately, I never had a mother who felt the need to care for her children."

Hera glared at her son.

**He sighed. "And how do you feel?"**

"**Like I could throw Nancy Bobofit a hundred yards."**

"**That's good," he said. "That's good. I don't think you could risk drinking any more of that stuff"**

"**What do you mean?"**

**He took the empty glass from me gingerly, as if it were dynamite, and set it back on the table. "Come on. Chiron and Mr. D are waiting."**

**The porch wrapped all the way around the farmhouse.**

**My legs felt wobbly, trying to walk that far. Grover offered to carry the Minotaur horn, but I held on to it. I'd paid for that souvenir the hard way. I wasn't going to let it go.**

"I hate to admit it, but that's smart, punk," Ares said. "Never let go of your trophies of war."

"Unless your entire living place is littered with random severed heads and vials of blood and armor and helmets and- You know what? Just don't horde," Aphrodite corrected sternly.

"I do _not _horde," Ares growled angrily.

"Yes, you do, your entire living place here is extremely difficult to maneuver without getting blood stains all over your Prada shoes. And-"

"Oh, hush, Aphrodite. Let Dionysus read, will you?" Artemis scolded.

**As we came around the opposite end of the house, I caught my breath.**

**We must've been on the north shore of Long Island, because on this side of the house, the valley marched all the way up to the water, which glittered about a mile in the distance. Between here and there, I simply couldn't process everything I was seeing. The landscape was dotted with buildings that looked like ancient Greek architecture-an open-air pavilion, an amphitheater, a circular arena-except that they all looked brand new, their white marble columns sparkling in the sun. In a nearby sandpit, a dozen high school-age kids and satyrs played volleyball. Canoes glided across a small lake. Kids in bright orange T-shirts like Grover's were chasing each other around a cluster of cabins nestled in the woods. Some shot targets at an archery range. Others rode horses down a wooded trail, and, unless I was hallucinating, some of their horses had wings.**

Annabeth smiled. "Pegasi. Did you know that Pegasus, was born when Med- uh, Aunty Em's head was cut off by Perseus -the original Perseus that is. He sprang from her severed neck. It's fascinating; he was a brother of Chrysaor." She stopped. "Sorry. For interrupting."

The throne room was still silent, waiting to see if she would continue her speech.

She didn't. Instead, Annabeth said, "Well? Continue!"

**Down at the end of the porch, two men sat across from each other at a card table. The blond-haired girl who'd spoon-fed me popcorn-flavored pudding was leaning on the porch rail next to them.**

**The man facing me was small, but porky. He had a red nose, big watery eyes, and curly hair so black it was almost purple. He looked like those paintings of baby angels- what do you call them, hubbubs? **

Annabeth snorted.

**No, cherubs. That's it. He looked like a cherub who'd turned middle-aged in a trailer park. **

"Gee, thanks for that blow-by-blow analysis of the Supreme Lord of Partying," Dionysus declared sarcastically.

**He wore a tiger-pattern Hawaiian shirt, and he would've fit right in at one of Gabe's poker parties, except I got the feeling this guy could've out-gambled even my stepfather.**

"And don't you forget it!"

"**That's Mr. D," Grover murmured to me. "He's the camp director. Be polite. The girl, that's Annabeth Chase. She's just a camper, but she's been here longer than just about anybody. And you already know Chiron… ."**

**He pointed at the guy whose back was to me.**

**First, I realized he was sitting in the wheelchair. Then I recognized the tweed jacket, the thinning brown hair, the scraggly beard.**

"**Mr. Brunner!" I cried.**

**The Latin teacher turned and smiled at me. His eyes had that mischievous glint they sometimes got in class when he pulled a pop quiz and made all the multiple choice answers B.**

"Ahh, Chiron," Thalia murmured. "That sly, little horse."

"**Ah, good, Percy," he said. "Now we have four for pinochle."**

"Um, where's Nico?" Annabeth asked.

"Yeah, where _is _Nico?" Thalia agreed.

"Hi." Nico was sitting on his chair. One moment he was there, the next he was.

Several people jumped in surprise.

"What's, uh, what's wrong?"

"Well, y-you! O-one m-moment you were. . . And then you're. . . What?" Percy spluttered.

"Please continue reading, Lord Dionysus," Nico said.

**He offered me a chair to the right of Mr. D, who looked at me with bloodshot eyes and heaved a great sigh. "Oh, I suppose I must say it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. There. Now, don't expect me to be glad to see you."**

"Ah, there's that greeting that always makes demigods feel warm and fuzzy inside," Thalia commented, absently fiddling with her finger nails.

"**Uh, thanks." I scooted a little farther away from him because, if there was one thing I had learned from living with Gabe, it was how to tell when an adult has been hitting the happy juice. If Mr. D was a stranger to alcohol, I was a satyr.**

"**Annabeth?" Mr. Brunner called to the blond girl.**

**She came forward and Mr. Brunner introduced us. "This young lady nursed you back to health, Percy. Annabeth, my dear, why don't you go check on Percy's bunk? We'll be putting him in cabin eleven for now."**

**Annabeth said, "Sure, Chiron."**

**She was probably my age, maybe a couple of inches taller, and a whole lot more athletic looking. With her deep tan and her curly blond hair, she was almost exactly what I thought a stereotypical California girl -**

Annabeth snorted. "Yeah, as if."

**-would look like, except her eyes ruined the image. They were startling gray, like storm clouds; pretty, but intimidating, too, as if she were analyzing the best way to take me down in a fight.**

"You know, she most likely was," Grover said.

Annabeth nodded, and smiled. "I was." She looked like she wanted to say how, but decided against it.

**She glanced at the minotaur horn in my hands, then back at me. I imagined she was going to say, You killed a minotaur! or Wow, you're so awesome! or something like that.**

**Instead she said, "You drool when you sleep."**

"Wow, Annabeth. Insult for a first greeeting," Percy muttered, remembering that time.

**Then she sprinted off down the lawn, her blond hair flying behind her.**

"**So," I said, anxious to change the subject. "You, uh, work here, Mr. Brunner?"**

"**Not Mr. Brunner," the ex-Mr. Brunner said. "I'm afraid that was a pseudonym. You may call me Chiron."**

"**Okay." Totally confused, I looked at the director. "And Mr. D … does that stand for something?"**

**Mr. D stopped shuffling the cards. He looked at me like I'd just belched loudly. "Young man, names are powerful things. You don't just go around using them for no reason."**

"**Oh. Right. Sorry."**

"**I must say, Percy," Chiron-Brunner broke in, "I'm glad to see you alive. It's been a long time since I've made a house call to a potential camper. I'd hate to think I've wasted my time."**

"**House call?"**

"**My year at Yancy Academy, to instruct you. We have satyrs at most schools, of course, keeping a lookout. But Grover alerted me as soon as he met you. He sensed you were something special, so I decided to come upstate. I convinced the other Latin teacher to … ah, take a leave of absence."**

**I tried to remember the beginning of the school year. It seemed like so long ago, but I did have a fuzzy memory of there being another Latin teacher my first week at Yancy. Then, without explanation, he had disappeared and Mr. Brunner had taken the class.**

"**You came to Yancy just to teach me?" I asked.**

**Chiron nodded. "Honestly, I wasn't sure about you at first. We contacted your mother, let her know we were keeping an eye on you in case you were ready for Camp Half-Blood. But you still had so much to learn. Nevertheless, you made it here alive, and that's always the first test."**

"**Grover," Mr. D said impatiently, "are you playing or not?"**

Dionysus sighed a little dreamily. "Pinochle."

"**Yes, sir!" Grover trembled as he took the fourth chair, though I didn't know why he should be so afraid of a pudgy little man in a tiger-print Hawaiian shirt.**

"**You do know how to play pinochle?" Mr. D eyed me suspiciously.**

"**I'm afraid not," I said.**

"**I'm afraid not, sir," he said.**

"**Sir," I repeated. I was liking the camp director less and less.**

At this, Dionysus said, "Don't worry, Peire. I didn't like you, either." Poseidon looked like he wanted to punch the wine god, so Dionysus added, "oh, do try to keep it together, Poseidon."

"**Well," he told me, "it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest games ever invented by humans. I would expect all civilized young men to know the rules."**

"**I'm sure the boy can learn," Chiron said.**

"**Please," I said, "what is this place? What am I doing here? Mr. Brun-Chiron-why would you go to Yancy Academy just to teach me?"**

**Mr. D snorted. "I asked the same question."**

**The camp director dealt the cards. Grover flinched every time one landed in his pile.**

"Satyrs," Dionysus muttered, but Grover puffed out his chest.

"I'm not afraid anymore!" Grover said, probably attempting a low-pitched voice, but his voice faltered.

"Really?"

Grover hesitated. "Er, please keep reading."

**Chiron smiled at me sympathetically, the way he used to in Latin class, as if to let me know that no matter what my average was, I was his star student. He expected me to have the right answer.**

"**Percy," he said. "Did your mother tell you nothing?'**

"**She said …" I remembered her sad eyes, looking out over the sea. "She told me she was afraid to send me here, even though my father had wanted her to. She said that once I was here, I probably couldn't leave. She wanted to keep me close to her."**

"**Typical," Mr. D said. "That's how they usually get killed. Young man, are you bidding or not?"**

"**What?" I asked.**

**He explained, impatiently, how you bid in pinochle, and so I did.**

Dionysus muttered something about insufferably, uncivilized demigods, and continued reading.

"**I'm afraid there's too much to tell," Chiron said. "I'm afraid our usual orientation film won't be sufficient."**

"**Orientation film?" I asked.**

"**No," Chiron decided. "Well, Percy. You know your friend Grover is a satyr. You know"-he pointed to the horn in the shoe box-"that you have killed the Minotaur. No small feat, either, lad. What you may not know is that great powers are at work in your life. Gods-the forces you call the Greek gods-are very much alive."**

**I stared at the others around the table.**

**I waited for somebody to yell, Not! But all I got was Mr. D yelling, "Oh, a royal marriage. Trick! Trick!" He cackled as he tallied up his points.**

"**Mr. D," Grover asked timidly, "if you're not going to eat it, could I have your Diet Coke can?"**

Grover looked wistful, "aluminum. Chewy, a light treat."

Percy looked at him, and asked him a question he'd been dying to ask for a while. "What does it taste like?"

"**Eh? Oh, all right."**

**Grover bit a huge shard out of the empty aluminum can and chewed it mournfully.**

"**Wait," I told Chiron. "You're telling me there's such a thing as God."**

"**Well, now," Chiron said. "God-capital G, God. That's a different matter altogether. We shan't deal with the metaphysical."**

"**Metaphysical? But you were just talking about-"**

"**Ah, gods, plural, as in, great beings that control the forces of nature and human endeavors: the immortal gods of Olympus. That's a smaller matter."**

"**Smaller?"**

"**Yes, quite. The gods we discussed in Latin class."**

"**Zeus," I said. "Hera. Apollo. You mean them."**

"Names are a powerful thing, how often did they have to tell you, punk?" Clarisse sneered.

"Oh, shut up, Clarisse," Annabeth muttered.

"Oh, defending your boyfriend, are you?"

"I said, SHUT UP!" Both Annabeth and Percy blushed.

**And there it was again-distant thunder on a cloudless day.**

"**Young man," said Mr. D, "I would really be less casual about throwing those names around, if I were you."**

"**But they're stories," I said. "They're-myths, to explain lightning and the seasons and stuff. They're what people believed before there was science."**

"**Science!" Mr. D scoffed. "And tell me, Perseus Jackson"-I flinched when he said my real name, which I never told anybody-"what will people think of your 'science' two thousand years from now?" Mr. D continued. "Hmm? They will call it primitive mumbo jumbo. That's what. Oh, I love mortals-they have absolutely no sense of perspective. They think they've come so-o-o far. And have they, Chiron? Look at this boy and tell me."**

Athena, who had been quiet for quite a while, spoke up, "I hate to admit this truth, but the old wine god has made some sober sense."

"Thankyou," Dionysus said. "Hey!"

**I wasn't liking Mr. D much, but there was something about the way he called me mortal, as if… he wasn't.**

"Bit slow, aren't you, dear?" Hera purred.

**It was enough to put a lump in my throat, to suggest why Grover was dutifully minding his cards, chewing his soda can, and keeping his mouth shut.**

"**Percy," Chiron said, "you may choose to believe or not, but the fact is that immortal means immortal. Can you imagine that for a moment, never dying? Never fading? Existing, just as you are, for all time?"**

**I was about to answer, off the top of my head, that it sounded like a pretty good deal, but the tone of Chiron's voice made me hesitate.**

"**You mean, whether people believed in you or not," I said.**

"**Exactly," Chiron agreed. "If you were a god, how would you like being called a myth, an old story to explain lightning? What if I told you, Perseus Jackson, that someday people would call you a myth, just created to explain how little boys can get over losing their mothers?"**

"That was a bit harsh, for Chiron," Grover said, remembering that conversation.

**My heart pounded. He was trying to make me angry for some reason, but I wasn't going to let him. I said, "I wouldn't like it. But I don't believe in gods."**

"Idiot child!" Zeus roared.

"Oh, shut up, brother. Let the boy live. Continue, Dionysus," Poseidon encouraged.

"**Oh, you'd better," Mr. D murmured. "Before one of them incinerates you."**

**Grover said, "P-please, sir. He's just lost his mother. He's in shock."**

"**A lucky thing, too," Mr. D grumbled, playing a card. "Bad enough I'm confined to this miserable job, working with boys who don't even believe.'"**

**He waved his hand and a goblet appeared on the table, as if the sunlight had bent, momentarily, and woven the air into glass. The goblet filled itself with red wine.**

**My jaw dropped, but Chiron hardly looked up.**

"**Mr. D," he warned, "your restrictions."**

**Mr. D looked at the wine and feigned surprise.**

"**Dear me." He looked at the sky and yelled, "Old habits! Sorry!"**

"Oh, yeah. 'Old habits'," Thalia murmured sarcastically, and then she looked up at the Olympians looking at her. Her expression so obviously said, "did I just say that aloud?"

**More thunder.**

**Mr. D waved his hand again, and the wineglass changed into a fresh can of Diet Coke. He sighed unhappily, popped the top of the soda, and went back to his card game.**

**Chiron winked at me. "Mr. D offended his father a while back, took a fancy to a wood nymph who had been declared off-limits."**

"**A wood nymph," I repeated, still staring at the Diet Coke can like it was from outer space.**

"**Yes," Mr. D confessed. "Father loves to punish me. The first time, Prohibition. Ghastly! Absolutely horrid ten years! The second time-well, she really was pretty, and I couldn't stay away-the second time, he sent me here. Half-Blood Hill. Summer camp for brats like you. 'Be a better influence,' he told me. 'Work with youths rather than tearing them down.' Ha.' Absolutely unfair."**

**Mr. D sounded about six years old, like a pouting little kid.**

"**And …" I stammered, "your father is …"**

"**Di immortales, Chiron," Mr. D said. "I thought you taught this boy the basics. My father is Zeus, of course."**

**I ran through D names from Greek mythology. Wine. The skin of a tiger. The satyrs that all seemed to work here. The way Grover cringed, as if Mr. D were his master.**

"**You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."**

**Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say, these days, Grover? Do the children say, 'Well, duh!'?"**

"**Y-yes, Mr. D."**

"**Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?"**

"Most absolutely not," Aphrodite prompted, her hair going from blonde, to brown, to red, to brown again.

"**You're a god."**

"**Yes, child."**

"**A god. You."**

"Don't sound so surprised, kid," Dionysus muttered.

"Well, it is a bit surprising, isn't it?" Ares growled.

"Oh, do be quiet, Ares, I'm trying to read."

**He turned to look at me straight on, and I saw a kind of purplish fire in his eyes, a hint that this whiny, plump little man was only showing me the tiniest bit of his true nature. I saw visions of grape vines choking unbelievers to death, drunken warriors insane with battle lust, sailors screaming as their hands turned to flippers, their faces elongating into dolphin snouts. I knew that if I pushed him, Mr. D would show me worse things. He would plant a disease in my brain that would leave me wearing a strait-jacket in a rubber room for the rest of my life.**

"Don't forget that now, Perry!"

"**Would you like to test me, child?" he said quietly.**

"**No. No, sir."**

**The fire died a little. He turned back to his card game. "I believe I win."**

"**Not quite, Mr. D," Chiron said. He set down a straight, tallied the points, and said, "The game goes to me."**

**I thought Mr. D was going to vaporize Chiron right out of his wheelchair, but he just sighed through his nose, as if he were used to being beaten by the Latin teacher. He got up, and Grover rose, too.**

"**I'm tired," Mr. D said. "I believe I'll take a nap before the sing-along tonight. But first, Grover, we need to talk, again, about your less-than-perfect performance on this assignment."**

**Grover's face beaded with sweat. "Y-yes, sir."**

**Mr. D turned to me. "Cabin eleven, Percy Jackson. And mind your manners."**

**He swept into the farmhouse, Grover following miserably.**

"**Will Grover be okay?" I asked Chiron.**

Grover bit his nails, to avoid chewing the chair he was sitting in, as he thought of the hideous conversation he'd had that afternoon with Dionysus.

**Chiron nodded, though he looked a bit troubled. "Old Dionysus isn't really mad. He just hates his job. He's been … ah, grounded, I guess you would say, and he can't stand waiting another century before he's allowed to go back to Olympus."**

"**Mount Olympus," I said. "You're telling me there really is a palace there?"**

"**Well now, there's Mount Olympus in Greece. And then there's the home of the gods, the convergence point of their powers, which did indeed used to be on Mount Olympus. It's still called Mount Olympus, out of respect to the old ways, but the palace moves, Percy, just as the gods do."**

"**You mean the Greek gods are here? Like … in America?"**

"**Well, certainly. The gods move with the heart of the West."**

"**The what?"**

"**Come now, Percy. What you call 'Western civilization.' Do you think it's just an abstract concept? No, it's a living force. A collective consciousness that has burned bright for thousands of years. The gods are part of it. You might even say they are the source of it, or at least, they are tied so tightly to it that they couldn't possibly fade, not unless all of Western civilization were obliterated. The fire started in Greece. Then, as you well know-or as I hope you know, since you passed my course-the heart of the fire moved to Rome, and so did the gods. Oh, different names, perhaps-Jupiter for Zeus, Venus for Aphrodite, and so on-but the same forces, the same gods."**

"**And then they died."**

"Ha! 'Died'!" Athena cried. "Did you never read your textbook? Don't answer that, I'm sure I know; gods are immortal!"

"Mother," Annabeth complained.

"**Died? No. Did the West die? The gods simply moved, to Germany, to France, to Spain, for a while. Wherever the flame was brightest, the gods were there. They spent several centuries in England. All you need to do is look at the architecture. People do not forget the gods. Every place they've ruled, for the last three thousand years, you can see them in paintings, in statues, on the most important buildings. And yes, Percy, of course they are now in your United States. Look at your symbol, the eagle of Zeus. Look at the statue of Prometheus in Rockefeller Center, the Greek facades of your government buildings in Washington. I defy you to find any American city where the Olympians are not prominently displayed in multiple places. Like it or not-and believe me, plenty of people weren't very fond of Rome, either-America is now the heart of the flame. It is the great power of the West. And so Olympus is here. And we are here."**

**It was all too much, especially the fact that I seemed to be included in Chiron's we, as if I were part of some club.**

"**Who are you, Chiron? Who … who am I?"**

"I'm nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody, too?" Apollo quoted from one of his daughters from long ago, Emily Dickinson. "Then there's a pair of us! Don't tell! they'd advertise – you know!"

**Chiron smiled. He shifted his weight as if he were going to get up out of his wheelchair, but I knew that was impossible. He was paralyzed from the waist down.**

"**Who are you?" he mused. "Well, that's the question we all want answered, isn't it? But for now, we should get you a bunk in cabin eleven. There will be new friends to meet. And plenty of time for lessons tomorrow. Besides, there will be s'mores at the campfire tonight, and I simply adore chocolate."**

"Who doesn't?" Thalia asked.

**And then he did rise from his wheelchair. But there was something odd about the way he did it. His blanket fell away from his legs, but the legs didn't move. His waist kept getting longer, rising above his belt. At first, I thought he was wearing very long, white velvet underwear, but as he kept rising out of the chair, taller than any man, I realized that the velvet underwear wasn't underwear; it was the front of an animal, muscle and sinew under coarse white fur. And the wheelchair wasn't a chair. It was some kind of container, an enormous box on wheels, and it must've been magic, because there's no way it could've held all of him. A leg came out, long and knobby-kneed, with a huge polished hoof. Then another front leg, then hindquarters, and then the box was empty, nothing but a metal shell with a couple of fake human legs attached.**

**I stared at the horse who had just sprung from the wheelchair: a huge white stallion. But where its neck should be was the upper body of my Latin teacher, smoothly grafted to the horse's trunk.**

"**What a relief," the centaur said. "I'd been cooped up in there so long, my fetlocks had fallen asleep. Now, come, Percy Jackson. Let's meet the other campers."**

"Well, that seems to be the end of the book," Dionysus announed, yawning.

"What? No! There are loads more chapters here," Annabeth said, taking the book, and flipping the pages.

"Yes, well, I want it to be over!" Dionysus bellowed, becoming more irritable without that shot of spirits he so desperately wanted.

"Who will read next?"

**A/N: Just hit that cute li'l review button to let me know how awful, or awesome I did.**


End file.
